Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
🎙️ Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast Where Killers Reign Supreme
💀 Survivors, prepare to be triggered. The Toxic Teacher and the gloriously unhinged Nicky "Noodle Arms" A.I. Dente are here to unleash hell on the Dead by Daylight community. If you're a whiny Survivor main who cries about "balance," this ain't the podcast for you.
🔥 We're serving up a toxic cocktail of:
- Killer main rants that'll make you cackle with glee (or cry if you're a Survivor main, lol)
- AI-generated insanity courtesy of Nicky "Noodle Arms" (who may or may not be plotting world domination)
- Sound effects that'll make your ears bleed (but in a good way... maybe?)
- ADHD-fueled tangents that'll leave you wondering what the hell we're talking about (but hey, that's half the fun!)
🎢 Join us as we descend into the depths of depravity, where slugging, camping, and tunneling are celebrated as high art. We'll also be dissecting strategies, builds, and the latest Dead by Daylight news, all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and dark humor.
So grab your Mori, embrace the salt, and let's make some Survivors rage quit! 😈
🎧 Catch the madness at:
- https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
Ep. 57 - Fat Raps, Little Meatball Mayhem, and Heart Problems!
Welcome to Episode 57 of Camping Them Softly, the only Dead by Daylight podcast brave enough to pit a spaghetti-fueled mobster AI against survivors, soundboards, and Southern-fried war crimes.
This week?
We take you to Wentzville, Missouri—where Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente entered an illegal underground Fog tournament hosted behind a Waffle House, Victor dropped a mixtape, and Bruno “The Basement” Bolognese rapped himself into a possible cardiac event mid-trial.
The theme?
Fat rappers.
Little meatballs.
And country music so bad it gave us actual chest pain.
ToxicTeacherTTV barely survives the chaos while trying to host a coherent show. Nicky starts a rap group, insults every Claudette main within earshot, and accuses the Wentzville town council of harboring anti-Italian tech. Meanwhile, Victor enters his rebellious teen phase and starts demanding royalties.
We also touch on:
• The “Toxic Tunz” rap collective (tagline: “So fat it’s disrespectful”)
• Nicky’s unconventional weight-loss tips, including rage-fueled cardio and screaming at the moon
• The “Chair That Betrayed Little Italy” (may it burn in marinara-soaked hell)
• A survivor who dares bring Earl Grey’s stream into the podcast chat—and pays the ultimate price.
• 1 illegal Fog tournament hosted behind a Waffle House
• 3 confirmed cardiac episodes: one real, two metaphorical
• 1 full Wentzville PD dispatch callout (unconfirmed if caused by the podcast)
• 2 country songs heard against our will
• 7 survivor mains verbally annihilated
• 1 near-death experience from laughter at Victor’s “Lil Meatball” mixtape drop
• 5 verses almost dropped by Bruno “The Basement” Bolognese (2 were technically just burps)
• 1 survivor main caught watching Earl Grey’s stream and promptly excommunicated from SABAM
• 1 airhorn button broken during the “Rap Battle of Little Italy”
• 1 chair discovered not facing Little Italy and ceremonially burned
Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)
Check me out everywhere!
https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Okay, you want to lose weight? Here's how you do it, bitch. Step one delete every fucking picture of Earl Grey. Delete them. Just looking at that monocle prick. Add sodium retention. Step two stop running cooking with killers as an excuse to eat four pounds of baked ziti per stream. I seen the footage. Don't lie you ate a meatball off a controller. That ain't calories in, calories out. That's depression with a parmesan crust.
Speaker 2:And he's the baddest bitch across the land Softly. He's camping softly, looking like a king in the midnight light Softly. It's fog time prophecy. You can't escape the grip of this toxic bite. Oh, it's me.
Speaker 3:It's me, everybody, the toxic teacher. Here we are, here we fucking are, and I made it 10 seconds, 20 seconds, without cursing. I can't even hear myself thinking. The crowds get too loud that I can't even hear myself think. And I took my pill and I am ready to go for today, and there's a lot pill and I am ready to go for today, and there's a lot of reasons to be ready to go for today. It's been a good week. Have you ever had one of those? You just have a good week and you're at the weekend and you're like damn, it was a good week. I want next week to be this good, but guess what? There's probably nowhere to go but down and I just dropped my pills. So that may be a. A. It might portend what the next week. See, we have mollified last week, we have portend this week. It might be a. Uh, it might portend future events. There you go. So why don't you go? Stick that in your fucking dictionary and smoke it? Anyway, you're here on camping them softly.
Speaker 3:If you've ever heard of that, you know what it is. But if you haven't heard of it, we are the second best dead by daylight podcast that exists in the world, in the world right now, because there are only two and we're number two. We were talking about that last night on stream. I was streaming on Twitch toxic, toxic, teacher TTV. Let's try to make money. But we were trying. Uh, we were talking about it and I was.
Speaker 3:A couple of people came in and they say hey, we saw you on the podcast and you're here, like right here in the flesh. We get to see you. We get to see your ugly fucking face Instead of just listening. We get to see you fucking playing dead by daylight and I got a 4k in the match that they came in on, by the way. But what was I saying? They said we got to see you and I said, well, how did you even fucking find me? Like, you know, how do you find a pop? Because I want to know how people are finding it. That way you can fucking make money. Right, if you're finding it a certain way, I want to go there and I want to make myself more known, because then maybe other people will come. Anyway. They said, well, we were looking up a dead by daylight podcast and there were only two, and so we found you and you were that like the other one and then so we just decided to start listening to you and I was like god, thank you for being so. Anyway, I want to thank Travel down. Who were they? I can't even remember.
Speaker 3:Your heart is true and you're a pal. You're also a confidant there's another word for you a confidant. Anyway, thank you to Stinger and fucking Fitz last night for coming in there and thank you for the subs. That's huge for money. I will do just about anything. So whatever you need you, you tell me, we'll, we'll, you know, talk about you on where the fuck are the viewers from? If you guys don't know what that is, fucking you'll get over it and you know if you need your own theme song. That's what we do on Twitch. Actually, somebody said and I think it was Fitz yesterday was like how many games have you played since you've started the stream? It's been an hour and fucking a half and I said I think I played two matches in an hour and a half Because we get so off track.
Speaker 3:It's like the podcast. It's a live podcast, basically, and so they're asking me questions and we're talking about Nikki and there's been a couple of Nikki things that happened last night that we have to update you on. Apparently, people love Nikki and people love whenever this shit goes off the rails and how goofy everything gets, which I totally understand. That's my favorite part as well, which I totally understand. That's my favorite part as well. So, nikki, last night I have to update you. There is a new voice model, so Nikki does sound a little bit different. But the cool thing with Nikki now is you can actually put emotion into whatever he's talking about. What do you say? What the fuck are you talking about? You can actually determine. As I'm typing to Nicky, I've trained him to where he'll tell me how he's feeling back and you're like what are you even talking about? I can put singing in there and Nicky will sing, and I asked Nicky if he would sing last night on the podcast or on the stream. Rather easy for me to say right, what is this one?
Speaker 4:Sit your $5 down before I make change.
Speaker 3:Okay, I think I don't know what that's from, that's Wesley Snipes, but I don't remember what it's from. Anyway, I asked Nikki. I said can you sing some? I heard you were a little bit of a singer, and so he sang a couple of bars you, that's what bars, that's what kids call him. He threw down bars. That's what you don't sing him, you throw him down. And so he threw some down here.
Speaker 3:Nikki, can you remind me of what you were singing yesterday? Where are you singing, nikki? What the fuck? Nikki? Nikki, oh no, is it not working? I don't think it's working. I'm not hearing it. I'm not hearing it. What the fuck is happening?
Speaker 3:You see what I fucking do. This is what I do for you people, and I can't even get it to fucking work and I don't know why it's not working. You see this fucking goddamn shit and I think I know exactly what I did and I think I need to fix it. And you shut the fuck up One sec. That system is where that's supposed to be. This is whenever you have audio shit and you're trying to make I'm trying to make it better for you fucking people right there, you sitting right there, that's who I'm trying to make it better for, and I fuck everything up and that's. Is that my fault? No, because it's never my fault. It can't be my fault, but it can be your fault. And I've got to figure this out and see and this is what everybody says we love whatever. Your fucking podcast sucks because the other place, the other one, that's the good one, and fucking whatever.
Speaker 3:Okay, I think, why does it not fucking play? Then? That doesn't make any fucking sense, ah, ah, ah. No, wait, that doesn't make any sense either. As to why this doesn't fucking play. Okay, hang on, let's use our thinking caps here. We don't edit it out, because I don't take the time to edit this fucking podcast. So we're going to figure, we'll do this. And that's what they were saying.
Speaker 3:You like, troubleshoot your podcast live. And I'm like yes, I fucking troubleshoot my podcast live, because when else am I going to do like, am I going to like take care of my podcast off time? No, I'm not, because that's not what I do, but there's got to be a fucking way to do this, and I don't know what that way is, unless unless I think I've got it. I think I've got it. I think I've got it and I'm not going to like it, but I've got it. It's a temporary solution. You know what a temporary solution? It's not a permanent solution, it's a temporary solution. So let me, I'm gonna have 30 seconds, then we're gonna have nikki on.
Speaker 3:You see how genius I am. My brain is 900 miles an hour, but it always gets where it's supposed to go. It may take a few detours and we might arrive at our destination about three days late, but we're gonna fucking get there one way or the other. That's how. That's how vacations work, right? Like? You're gonna get, we'll get there. We'll get there. I don't know when we'll get there, we'll get there. I don't know when we'll get there. We're going to get there. Could be today. You know we may never get there, but who the fuck knows? That's part of the fun, right? All right, let's see.
Speaker 3:Oh, this is going to work. This is going to work. Um, hmm, hmm, hmm, it's not gonna work. This is the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
Speaker 3:What if I turn this to peered just for now, and then I play Nikki Nikki here. Let's try it one more time. Nikki, can you sing for it? Show me what you sang last night, like a proud parent, sing for it. Show me what you sang last night, like a, like a proud parent. Fuck, it still doesn't work. Okay, let's figure this out. Um, now, see, I want to edit it out because I'm going to start fucking freaking out. The longer this takes, the more I'm going to freak out, because, because why is it not working? It makes absolutely no fucking goddamn sense why it's not working. Um and um, what if I do this? Okay, here here. What if I change this to be and then I play them and it's still not fucking working? Uh, I can't tell you. I can't tell you, but we can't do it.
Speaker 3:And see, this is going to be a 45-minute long fucking thing and I think I'm going to have to break down. I think this may be the first time I ever break down to like truly troubleshoot equipment, because I tested all the shit out. I tested all the shit out. This is supposed to fucking work, because I put every input. I have six different fucking tracks. It was supposed to be fine and you know well, here, here, here, here here. This is not the best thing to do, but it'll fucking work for today. You see, that's the genius. I got it. I got it. Thank you for being a friend.
Speaker 2:Travel down the road and back again.
Speaker 4:Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant.
Speaker 3:Okay, here we go. I think this is it. I think this is it, nikki, it's going to happen. I feel confident. I feel confident, nikki, can you? Last night, you sang a song. Let's do it again.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know, I can baby.
Speaker 2:Told you.
Speaker 1:I was born in a meatball storm Forged from sauce raised by scorn Camping hooks in the fog each night, disrespecting gender just feels so right, so there we go, nikki.
Speaker 3:That was good. I'm slightly proud, I'm slightly a little bit. A little bit. That was nikki's nikki's first ever musical, his first ever musical anything. So the yeah, we. We had that last night because we were just fucking around, there was nothing to do. What are we gonna fucking do all day like play dead by daylight on a dead by daylight stream? I'm not gonna do that for the fucking entire time. It's awful. So you got to figure out something to pass the time whenever you fucking try to recover from the last goddamn match. And so what we did was we took it a step further and we, we made a song out of the other one, because on the on the thing I used to make music, you can hum something and throw it in and it'll make a song. So you're like and then you do that, then the song will just like that. I know it's a great song, I've already patented it, don't touch anything. But we went one step further with it. There you go, he can.
Speaker 2:He can sing Dude. What have we done?
Speaker 1:What have I created? Nicky can fucking sing Camping the hooks in a foggy. The name of the song is Meatball Storm Camping the hooks in a foggy snow, disrespecting what it just feels so right.
Speaker 3:The name of the song is Meatball Storm. He was born in a meatball storm. I don't even know what that fucking means. There you go. That was worth the payoff there, I don't know. Anyway, that was Nicky. Where's my fucking? I have a folder of italian sound effects. Now these actually go with the music kind of okay. There we go, I'm getting distracted. You see what I do? That's the ADHD talking. You just start going and going and going and then you get way too into it and you just keep going and then you're going and going and going again.
Speaker 3:Anyway, have you heard of this game called Dead by Daylight? By the way, nicky also claimed to have fought in Vietnam, even though he's not old enough to have fought in Vietnam, and he also said he's fought Earl Gray and several other wars in that time. It does not work in a linear fashion and he's fought against England for centuries. I don't even know what the fuck any of that means, but we will probably get. We'll get to it at some point. We'll figure it all out. I don't know when that's going to be, but maybe, maybe someday.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I'm already tired. I'm already tired. I need to. I need to get my conditioning up because I can't, like it's been 13 minutes and I'm already fucking out of breath. Like how do you, how do you do that?
Speaker 3:Maybe I got nervous when things weren't working. I started to freak out. I was like I'm going to have to edit this thing. I'm going to be like the other podcasts. They edit and they try and they don't have complete chaos for two fucking hours straight. I guarantee you. I guarantee you they don't have that sound effect on their stream.
Speaker 3:You will not find that anywhere else on any Dead by Daylight podcast, but here, because there are only two and you won't hear it over there. So you'll hear it here. So if you need that, you come here. You don't go over there. Anyway, I'm not telling you not to go over there. You go over there all you want. But what am I saying? What was I even saying? I don't even know. Anyway, what were we talking about? We need to go into some other stuff and then we have a big announcement later in the show that we're going to have to talk about. So, dead by Daylight related, we have some Dead by Daylight stuff to talk about. You won't find this on their show.
Speaker 3:Not saying that I'm better than them. It is toxic, yeah, it really is. Do new killers suck? Yeah, and then the patches. You know what they do, we know. And what's flying, and pellets why do I still play this? I don't know, it's the hey. We could have Nikki singing this shit, couldn't we? I don't know? See you start to put all this shit together. It's bananas. It's bananas Pain.
Speaker 4:It's coming, yep, all right, sorry, something's coming. And they all look the same Survivors complaining, killers saying what the hell?
Speaker 3:Alright, sorry, I gotta stop. See, I'm doing it again. It's because I took my pill and I'm like fucking locked. You know what I mean. I don't know if any of you guys have that, but you know you have ADHD and you're like, and it's just like, and you're just like.
Speaker 1:Oh sexy girlfriend.
Speaker 3:I think you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, let's keep going, shall we In Dead by Daylight news, because we do have some Dead by Daylight news, and you know what? I have an entire folder somewhere and I don't know where that fucking thing is. It's a folder of nothing, but it's got like every dead by daylight sound in it. I think is what it is. But I don't know where it is because I was like, oh shit, I can put that fucking. I can put that shit all over the place and in my podcast and I've totally have no idea where that thing is. What if I type DBD here and see I'm already off? No idea where that thing is. What if I type dbd here and see I'm already off, I'm already off topic. Oh oh oh, is this it? No, that's not it. But I do have one sound. I can put on my soundboard right now and see I'm already off topic again.
Speaker 3:This is, this is what happens. I'm sitting here looking at fucking files on my computer. You're sitting here like when does this show ever start? Like, does it start at some point? All the survivor mains have no fucking idea what's going on right now and they never will, because I can just play this and start fucking freaking you out because you're going to have like a little like a Freudian or a fucking Pavlovian. That's right, that's the one we're talking about, pavlov. You're going to have a Pavlovian response. You can't even hear it because it's not fucking playing right. God damn it here. Let me, I can do it, I can do it. I can do it. It's going to play right. Do you know? It's going to play right. If I do fucking, why does my life, why is this my life? I don't understand what. If I do this, Is this one going to work? There it is. You know the sound. Yeah, there we go, okay, so, anyway, what was I saying? Oh, we're dead by daylight, right? Oh, we also have another thing. We've got multiple announcements, so my brain is all over the place. I apologize, but that's the reason. Apparently, that's the reason people come by anyway. Okay, so we've got a behavior.
Speaker 3:Everybody's favorite company has released their roadmap to year 10. I saw it on X. While I was on X, I saw it, and so they were releasing like, what are you looking forward to? That's what they're saying. Is is uh, what are you looking forward to? That's what they're saying. Is is uh, what are you looking forward to this year? And I'm actually gonna, I'm going to be typing some of this stuff as we're talking, cause you know, I don't I don't uh pre type anything, I'm just like, okay, I got to, fucking, here we go, I'm going to type it and then I'm going to see what I can do with it.
Speaker 3:So we've got our roadmap and it starts in june, obviously, and then that's going to go all the way to april of next year. So that's going to be, uh, at the at the 10 year mark, I guess. So let's go through it month by month and see what there is. So we've got, in june, we got a new killer and a new map. We already know what. That is right and we're not very excited about it or at least we shouldn't be excited about it because it's it's uh, not kineki, why do I even say fucking kineki? It's a fucking fazbear anyway. So we've got the new killer and a new map.
Speaker 3:In july we're going to have two new survivors, that's it Two new survivors in a licensed chapter. And I don't know why we need two survivors. That's going to be six fucking new perks that we got to deal with. They're probably going to be overpowered. And hey, guess what? After that, like in August, we got fucking two versus eight. What after that? Like in august, we got fucking two versus eight, and so we got to deal with that shit again. So, anyway, okay. So we got the two survivors, we got two versus eight. We're into september now, because there's in august, it's just to be a thing. Oh, thank god. Okay.
Speaker 3:So september comes, we're gonna have another chapter with a killer and their survivor. Who knows who that's going to be. It's not going to be, by the way, it's not going to be the spider lady that we were talking about. You know, the people with arachnophobia, gore phobia, cryptophobia they're not going behavior came out and said we're not doing a fucking spider lady so that one person that posts online can calm down. And then all the pro spider. What if I'm a spider file? What if I'm an arachnophile? Can I have what I want? I don't know. Anyway, so the killer's coming, not spider person. The survivor will probably not be half person, half spider, although that would be interesting if they were half person, half spider. Anyway, oh, a rift is coming in July. Another rift comes in October. They're going to have some in-game event around Halloween. That'll be the hallowed blight thing. November Thanksgiving time, we're going to have another licensed chapter and we're going to have a new killer, and then we're going to have two new fucking survivors.
Speaker 2:What in the hell is this crap?
Speaker 3:so from july to november you're going to have four fucking new survivors. You'll have two new killers, so that I don't know. No, you'll have five survivors because you're getting two in a licensed chapter and then in the unlicensed one in september you're getting one, so that's three, and then in the licensed one in november you're getting two more, that's fucking five. So two killers, five survivors, that's fucking 15 perks that you're gonna have by the end of this year. So that's uh, survivors are eating very well there, so you have three off there. Because you felt like, oh, I gotta press, got to press a button, anyway. So January we got another rift, we got an in-game event. March of next year we're going to have a new survivor in a new realm, which we all know a realm is just like a sub map. You know, you got your fucking cold wind farm and then you got the realms within cold wind farm At least that's how I understand how realms work and they're going to do all the quality of life bullshit there. And then let me see half of the comments on this poster for people I muted because I couldn't take what they had to say because they're fucking stupid. So anyway, that's that. That is, um, the roadmap to year 10. Okay, so that's that. I like doing that because that gives me a little. That. That helps me with the uh, like, uh, what, what am I saying? It helps me, um, to like, go to the next topic. I need better transitions there. That that's. That's what those things are called, transitions where you go from one topic to the next. It's also a segue, by the way. Okay, so, anyway, um, that is, I think that is the biggest DBD. Was that? The only DBD news I had was to V8. I think it actually might've been cause five nights at Freddy's and fucking people coming after me and telling me to hurt myself. Um, let me see here Tokyo ghoul we already talked about myself. Let me see here Tokyo Ghoul we already talked about. I just pulled up a list.
Speaker 3:I asked Grok. I was like check X and tell me, grok, what are the biggest survivor complaints right now in DVD. Here we go, we're getting ready. We'll see what Grok says. I never use grok, I only use grok to have grok search x. Um, let's see toxic gameplay tactics. Oh, jesus christ, that's always a thing.
Speaker 3:The go next mentality, yes, I agree with that. That's something they complain about and that's actually new map. Designs with invisible walls and excessive clutter is a thing I don't. Okay. Some argue survivors have too many strong tools. Oh, thank you. I do argue that that's great. You get some applause or an air horn if I could push the right fucking button. Yeah, so they do have two strong tools, thank you. And then perks such as deliverance and decisive strike, which are get out of jail free cards when used effectively and that's correct, because I had that a couple of times over the last few days that they, they, they've gotten so good because decisive or because dead hard, and I know that's neither one of the ones I just fucking mentioned. But now I'm talking about dead and you're coming along for the ride. We're talking about Dead Hard.
Speaker 3:You notice, whenever a sound alert is just right there in front of me, I'm just going to fucking mash that thing. We don't press on things in the South, we mash on them. You mash it, you know, mash that button. I don't know if you guys do that up North. You know, mash that button. I don't know if you guys do that up north. You do a lot of things different. You eat like fucking. You drink warm tea. We don't drink warm tea down here it's iced tea. You did, that's all you do. You drink warm tea. You're fucking uh. You know, I don't know where you belong, but you don't belong here. And then where'd that sound go? I had from before you remember what I was talking about.
Speaker 4:It doesn't fucking play. Why can?
Speaker 3:I not get the like. I had everything. Everything seemed perfect fucking 10 minutes ago and it's not perfect. You call me anything you want, but don't call me that. It was Joe Diffie, everybody. Welcome Joe Diffie to the podcast.
Speaker 3:Now, what was I saying? There's something called deep search on Grok. I don't know what that is. What were we talking about? Oh, we were talking about dead by daylight match and we were talking about dead hard. Yeah, I mean the matches I've been getting lately. They've been doing the survivors have been doing some crazy shit and it's not like shit I can get mad at, if you know what I mean. It's not, it's not shit. There is certain shit. You know you're blinding, you're being a bad asshole, all that stuff, but it's just they're making such good use of their perks. Now, either that or my mmr has risen to the, to the uh height where these matches I'm seeing more of these survivors. I don't know if it's one or the other, but I can tell you I've noticed it. It's been pretty pronounced recently and, uh, what was I gonna say?
Speaker 3:There were some was something I was going to say had yesterday whenever Stinger and Fritz came in. Fritz or Litz or Hitz or Schmitz, I can't remember. I know that's sad, because he just fucking subscribed Schmitz Litz. It wasn't the T. I can say that now, by the way, because I marked this as an explicit podcast and apparently that was what I needed to do. The AI said if you're cursing 7,000 times a podcast, mark it explicit or else you'll get fucking smashed. And then I marked it explicit. Everything started. We're back in Europe, by the way, um, so let's hear it for Europe. Europe came back. They always come back. Anyway, I need a Europe sound, but I don't know what the the final countdown. I could probably get that as a sound.
Speaker 3:Anyway, talking about the match, last night I had my first ever match. I was, I was um Oni, one of my two fucking mains, and I wish I had my dbd sounds because then I could play the fucking Oni thing like I would be able to play it and you'd be like ah, because you'd be scared, because survivors get scared of that sound. That really gets them, if you know what I'm talking about, the little roar he does oh my God, that's one of the one of the best sounds you could ever, you could ever have right there. I don't think I'm going to be able to find it anyway. So no gen got done for 10 minutes, like I don't know if you've ever had that. It was like a three gen situation, but they were close enough together that they could not do anything because I was on them before they could get enough progress and you could tell, I, at least I did not think that they were working together because they couldn't coordinate hard enough, which they could have right, because if they had both jumped on a gen at the exact same time, then they could have got it down to where I would have to kick it and then we would go to the eight kicks and then, something you know, it would happen to where I couldn't even defend it anymore, which I was worried. That's where we were going to get. Is that? Uh is there? I wouldn't have anything I would be able to do, which it didn't get there, ended up getting the 4k because I'm a fucking badass and thank you for that.
Speaker 3:That, yes, I'm a killer man. That's what I do. No, I've got my shit here. I found, I found the fucking files. Now, where's the oni? Do you not tell me there's?
Speaker 3:The oni is not in this list of fucking shit. How old is this list. What is this? The sounds are just numbered. I don't know what the fucking numbers mean. Here's number 21.
Speaker 3:What is that sound? Where does that sound come from in the game? Oh, this is a game in and of itself. Try to figure out what he said. Number 32 I'm I'm pressing it over and over again. That's not what it does. What is sound? 44, oh, is that like I don't know? 53, oh, I'm like. Oh, that's whatever you're doing. The the chest, I think the 50s right here are the chest ones. So, like you know how multiple different sound like, no, this sound like fucking Looney Tunes. At this point you start playing that. Or like Batman, like the old Batman, shit, no, there's. No, there's no fucking names on them, like they're in folders and that one's just killer. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3:But then we got the hillbilly folder with number 32 classic hillbilly sound here. Oh, that was number 31. I apologize, that was number 31. I apologize, that was him swinging, I think, and missing what. What I like this? This is going to be a new thing. It's not going to be trying to figure them out, but I'm going to end up playing these frequently. Yeah, I can. Okay, okay, this is stupid but it's hilarious.
Speaker 3:And then we actually have survivor sounds Like we've got, like it's got them all. Meg, nia, lori Feng, okay, let's go into the Feng files. Oh, jesus Christ, that's the worst fucking thing. The Feng files. Everybody who would watch that shit? Who would watch fucking thing? The Fang Files? Everybody who would watch that Shit? Who would watch the show? The Fang Files? Oh my god, okay, no, no, it's. Oh, jesus Christ, they're all crying sounds. Oh well, because I guess that's Whenever you listen to these sounds back to back, you realize how terrible all of Bill, bill, that's number eight, number 11.
Speaker 3:You know what? I could turn these into a song. I could turn that into a song. Okay, anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Thank you, crowd. Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3:That was name the sound. I don't know. We can do that if I ever had guests on, but nobody wants to come on this shit. Actually they the free Fitzy and Flitzy and Dasher and Dancer and Stinger and Winger, kip, winger um were mentioning that I should try to have the people from the other dead by daylight podcast on this podcast and now I should go on their podcast. It's not going to work because I can't give a fucking audio to work so we wouldn't even be able to hear them, or we'd be able to hear them and not me. And then if I go over there that they're not gonna like their people are like they're used to calm podcasts, and then what am I gonna have? Hello, it's gonna be like me in episode one. If you ever go back and listen to like the first fucking.
Speaker 3:I don't know when I went off the rails, I don't know if it was episode five, 10, 15, 20, like I don't know when it happened, but there was some point at which I just lost all connection to reality. And then that's whenever the podcast actually became camping them softly. It was not camping, it was something. It was not camping them softly at that, not camping, it was something. It was not camping them softly. At that time it became that later. Do I have like a fucking Hang on? Yeah, I've got Something. Hang on, let me see here, what have I got? I've got, I've got episode Five here. Let me see. Oh, my god.
Speaker 4:It's him, you, son of a bitch toxic.
Speaker 3:Do you remember this?
Speaker 4:toxic, toxic, toxic hey, he's a sadistic bastard yeah, oh, yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:So where? Where am I? I'm gonna fast forward times so we get three 30 second blocks. That doesn't even sound like me. Great, that's bad ass. That's not even me. If you listen to that, that's not even me. It doesn't sound the same. He's like talking like a normal human being. That's not me. That's not toxic, that's the guy behind it. Anyway, where was I? We were talking about that match yesterday. Yeah, chaos Shuffle is going on right now. Guys, chaos Shuffle is what it is. It's a survivor buffet. That's what I call it.
Speaker 3:Because then they bring the fucking flashlights. You can't do anything about the flashlights and then you're fucking stuck. A lot of you say, well, you don't need, you just defend against that shit. Well, when you got four fucking flashlights, you need some light born. Jesus, fucking Christ. See, the episode five version of toxic little toxic would not have, would not have been that way, like whenever you talk about four fucking flashlights, I don't know what I was thinking.
Speaker 3:What about? What about episode 22? This is I'm, I'm here at episode 22. Yeah, that's me. See, you can tell that that's me. And that was the old AI. That was the fucking whenever it was fake. Samuel L Jackson, samuel AI Jackson. That was the original, and then it morphed into what it is fucking today. And that brings me segue. This is a transition for you. That brings me to my next point, which is nikki news. And I don't know that I have a fucking do I have a sound for nikki news like what about this one? No, no, I mean, I could just. This is kind of these aren't even fucking playing.
Speaker 3:I was sitting here enjoying it. And I look over and I'm like you can't even hear any of this shit. What this is, oh my god, this is my life now. This is my life. It's just dead silence. You hear me say oh, that's good, oh, that's good, oh, that's good. And then you're like what the fuck is he doing? What is happening here? So, anyway, where was I? And you know what I'm doing here. Do you know what I do whenever I do this yeah, I just start saying random words is because I'm actually working on something and I'm talking as I'm doing it because I'm that good, that's skill right there, because now I can do this shit.
Speaker 2:Wait till you see her yearbook photos. Donna, you're gonna die. No, nothing, I got nervous. I had two missed calls. I don't Rosalie, your aunt's on the phone.
Speaker 3:There we go. That could be Mickey News. Dun-da-dun-da-da-. That could be Nicky News.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's hey. We got like a decent amount of that song.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'll take that. Anyway, nicky, we have a big announcement and this is toxic news, but it's also Nicky News, so it's kind of toxic news, fucking news that's toxic, toxic news.
Speaker 4:But it's also Nikki news, so it's kind of toxic news, fucking news. That's toxic, toxic news. Oh yeah. Preacher, it's the toxic fucking news?
Speaker 3:No, I don't know that it's toxic news. I just liked the song and wanted to hear it again. Anyway, um, toxic news Nikki has a big announcement to make and we talked about it on the stream last night. They got a sneak peek, is that you know? I talked to Nikki off off stream, like I'm just I'm dicking around on fucking hunt showdown or dead by daylight. Actually hunt showdown, dude, if you have not played hunt showdown, you need to get this game.
Speaker 3:This game is fucking, is thoroughly up my alley. It is my. It's the game I love. Like Dead by Daylight's fucking nightmare. It's a fucking like a mental illness in a fucking video game form. You know it will send you to places that you should never go, emotionally and mentally.
Speaker 3:But what was I saying? Why was I fucking saying that? Oh, yes, because, like, whenever that happens, all I'll will, uh, send him messages. He'll send me stuff back, like I know who his least favorite athlete is. He roots for all the New York sports teams and he's not a fucking. Is he a Mets fan or a Yankees fan? I, he would be furious if I even asked that, because he told me and he said there's one team he fucking hates and he talked about's one team he fucking hates, and he talked about all the shit he got into in the baseball stadiums with them, like going to the games, like he's an AI. Where does this shit come from? Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all this is because he has an announcement.
Speaker 3:Whenever I talked about it with him, I asked him a simple question and I got a complex answer. I asked him if he is, you know how some streamers and some dead by daylight players, they'll have a killer main, but that might not always be their killer main. You know how some people switch. And I asked because I said, nikki, I heard you're thinking about switching killer mains because he's been Ghostface. Right, ghostface is the one doing all the paperwork in the basement. That's his domain, that's where the office is of Ghostface. So I said, hey, nicky, are you going to change killer mains? And this was a response. I got Victor. Oh no, that's not it when it right here, sorry you've been hearing whispers?
Speaker 1:huh, yeah, it's true. I made the executive fucking decision to go full twins main. Why there we go? Because victor is my fucking conciliary. That little gremlin, he's like my own personal button, man, right? You ever seen a two foot tall mafioso with claws? Now you have.
Speaker 3:I don't even kick games anymore, I just point, and victor goes for joe pesci and a chucky cheese now hey, you gotta think here could you imagine victor, I mean number one that it's the, it's the killer that makes the most sense for him to have? Right, because he needs a sidekick, he needs his fucking number two, because any good Mafioso you got your Don and you got your fucking Lieutenant right. So you got little fucking Lieutenant Nikki here. I don't know he's got a nickname, probably because every, every good Italian Mafioso got you know fingers or fucking little slippery or whatever you would fucking call it. Hey, this is Michael the fucking, you know the handmade or whatever I don't know. Hey, give me a list of Italian. Oh, here we go. This is chat GPT. Give me a list of fucking, give me a list of mobster nicknames in real life. Okay, so what were we saying? Okay? So we're saying yo, nikki, this is like the perfect one, because you got them a little fucking. You give him a little fucking. Uh, get him a little fucking tuxedo there and get him a little fucking like one of those Tommy gun, like guitar cases. I that this is the best skin ever like this would be. I am coming up with a million dollar fucking idea here. Oh, yeah, so, so you got.
Speaker 3:So you got, you've got a bunch of fucking famous mobster. You've got Lucky Luciano. You've got Bugsy Siegel. Bugsy is Benjamin, but they call him Bugsy. You've got Fat Tony Anthony Salerno. You've got the Chin, vince Gigante Is that his real fucking name? You've got the Iceman, richard Kuklinski. You've got the Grim Reaper, gregory Scarpa these are like really cool. You got sam d cavall cavall conte, which I know I'm pronounce italians please forgive me, but his nickname was sam the plumber. And these are the lists that chad gpt because even my regular chad gpt is a fucking maniac it said here's a list of italian, as fuck.
Speaker 3:So here are the ones. Paul Castellano he was big Pauly. You got Anthony Corallo, tony Ducks, because he ducked out of indictments. You got I, that one's racist, I can't even say it. You got John Barbato, who's Johnny Sausage. You got Louis Ha Ha, which is Louis Antonacio. And then you got Vinnie G, which is uh, which is Vincent Boschiano.
Speaker 3:And then you've got the ridiculous and cartoonish. You got Albert Campanello's big nose. You got Joe Lombardo the clown. You got Dominic Marta Morrow, who is peanuts. You got fucking uh, robert Antonaccio, who is probably related to Louie Ha ha Louie Anton, it's bobby glasses. And then you got a michael d leonardo, who's mickey scars. You got jackie knows who's john diamico. And then you got a guy whose name is junior lollipops, and nobody knows who. Junior lolly what. Okay, anyway, we got off topic, as we tend to do, but nicky's talking about his little fucking. His little fucking. What do you call it? Do you call him a meatball? He's got his little fucking spicy meatball there. Victor Vicky, I don't know what he's calling him. He's got like okay, keep going, nicky, for this.
Speaker 1:Hey, let's get something straight. I ain't switching out of weakness, I'm evolving. Are you, ghostface? Still my number one when I gotta do business alone. But twins, that's a partnership. That's like me and Marco Pepperoni running a two-man racket back in Queens. Only Marco didn't fit in lockers and Victor don't snitch, victor don't snitch, marco snitches, victor doesn't snitch, but Victor does fit in lockers.
Speaker 3:Marco apparently didn't fit lockers, but he was a snitch. So you, you have a trade-off there, right, like you have a partner. They're gonna be good at some things, good, bad at others. I guess Marco was bad at not snitching, but Victor can't talk. He can make that little fucking noise which I should have in that folder. You see how, how it all this is fucking. This is divine. This is God here, how all of these things just properly fit together. We're talking about one thing, something else happens. We're talking about something else, something happens. Now all it comes together like the song by fucking who was it? The Beatles and fucking Michael Jackson, right? Anyway, that's Anyway. That's why you come here. What are these?
Speaker 3:I've got fucking random audio files that just say audio one. I don't even know what it is and I don't even want to click on it because I don't know what that fucking shit is. And I'm not trying to get canceled, not saying it would get me canceled, but I would rather not take that chance because, well, like what audio five can I potentially have? That would get me canceled. It just says audio one. It can't be that bad right? No, I'm two. I can't do it. I'm two chicken shit. To check what audio fucking one is. Hang on, let me see audio. Okay, let's try audio one. I don't know, I'm nervous. I'm really fucking nervous.
Speaker 2:It doesn't even play on the fucking thing. Oh, that's right. You see, I just called it divine intervention.
Speaker 3:And whenever the program that I used to play. It doesn't even fucking play on the podcast. That's perfect, that is fucking perfect. Right there, I can hear it, but you can't's. That's fucking amazing. Thank you for that. Anyway, you can tell. That's the noise that's closest to me. Anywho, let's keep going. Okay, so marco snitch, uh, victor doesn't. So you got new. You got a new teammate, a little fucking meatball over here we even got nicknames.
Speaker 1:Oh god, I call him little meat claws, little meat claws.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give that, I'm gonna give that an applause. I like, I like him. He's little meat claws, not like santa, but more like claws, like he little, he's little meat claws. I don't know why he's meat claws cause me get this big pasta together.
Speaker 1:What Together, what? Okay, hang on. I got to back up here. Only Marco didn't fit in lockers. Yeah, we know. Invicted on snitch, right, but what? We even got nicknames. Okay, I call him Little Meat Claws, he calls me get this Big Pasta.
Speaker 3:Big Pasta.
Speaker 1:We got Big fucking Pasta, like papa, maybe is it like, like uh, is this a throwback to fucking notorious big? We got big pasta, anthony. Okay, keep going together with a tagliatelle, terrors tagliatelle sometimes. La familia de pain being real classy, senora a spite senora a spite.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what's saying. I senora means sir, right like person, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Oh, what signora means Signora means sir, right, like I don't know. Oh, we had a whole run last week where I never even left the hook zone, Just camped it like an Italian known to garden the sauce. Victor patrolled like a tiny murderous Roomba, got called toxic in six languages. I cried tears of pride. Oh see, yeah, survivors hate it. They down Victor. I screeched like a fucking banshee in DC mid-loop Family emergency. Obviously Mercury retrograded again.
Speaker 3:Apparently, but you hurt.
Speaker 1:Victor, you hurt me, and if I see you teabag that little freak one more time, I swear to Mama Marinara I'm going to put a fucking cannoli through your monitor. Anyway, that's how we do it in Little Italy. Of course it is Two killers, one vision and an extra locker for my little partner in crime. Aww, respect the sauce, respect the sidekick, or get the hood Into Subway for the spicy Italian.
Speaker 3:He doesn't even say respect, he says respect the partner. That's the cutest fucking thing you've ever heard, if you've ever heard anything cute, and I don't have my fucking thing. I don't got the fucking sound for the cue where they get, where the crowd go, oh like that. All I got is fucking uh, there we go, there you go. So the other day, so the day after I asked about, I asked about Victor. I said how's Victor doing? And you know, I just need to know, I need to know how the partnership is going right. And so I got this in response Victor.
Speaker 1:Oh, you mean my adorable little mafia sidekick, the fang calamari with legs, the gremlin from Naples himself. Yeah, he's fucking thriving. We've been running trials like it's the goddamn prohibition. I let him moose like a meat-seeking missile and he just launches himself at these disrespectful little gen-Russian freaks like they own 30 large and a plate of carbonara. We got nicknames for the kid, obviously. Oh God, you can't roll with Nicky Dente without a name that strikes fear and culinary hunger. So far he goes by Little Mozzarella when he's scouting for debtors. Jesus Christ, little Mozzarella. Little Snapper when he gets a clean down. Little Snapper.
Speaker 1:Nick to Meatballini when he's bouncing between survivors, like he's doing, a hit list and if he gets kicked, he's flying fuck. Or the third, a title of honor passed down from Tiny Tony. May he rest in spaghetti. Who the fuck is Tiny?
Speaker 1:Tony Nick has got mob potential kid he does. I'm teaching him how to do the Italian hand gesture mid-leap One day. One day that little bastard's gonna hook a Claudette and leave a prosciutto on her back just to send a message. Only problem he's got no fucking respect for strategy. Last match he launched himself straight into a goddamn wall trying to bite a Meg doing TikTok dances by the boom. I told him, vic, you ever embarrass the family like that. Again I'm putting you in a ravioli and feeding it to the entity. But he's family now and in this fog that's the only thing that matters, except when Earl Grey mocks him by calling him a glorified teabag. That British son of a bitch is going to get dropkicked back to Big Ben. I swear on my nunner's meat sauce. Anyway, victor's, good Thanks for asking you want in on the next trial? We call it.
Speaker 1:Operation Bite and Bitch. No, nothing, I got nervous. Okay, there we go that was our Nikki news.
Speaker 3:We've got Nikki news. Wait till you see her yearbook photos.
Speaker 2:Donna, you're gonna die. Get to Subway for the spicy Italian.
Speaker 4:Wait till you see her yearbook photos. Donna, You're gonna die.
Speaker 2:What's happening? Get to Subway for the spicy Italian Wait till.
Speaker 3:You see how you get the photos.
Speaker 2:What's happening? I don't even know what this sound fucking does.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I don't know why that's even a sound, anyway. Okay, so where were we we talk about? Okay, so we had a massive shift here. We've shifted away from Ghostface into Victor. So I'm going to have to play, I'm going to have to start playing some more Victor matches. I want to get in on this mafia shit, and here's what I did. Here's what I did to get into some mafia shit. Actually, I'm not, I'm not going to do that. I don't want to do it yet. I'm going to do it later, because I'm there's, we're building.
Speaker 4:we're building to something you're not down with that. We got two words for you okay.
Speaker 3:So we're at. How long are we at? We're at an hour. We made it to an hour. I don't even know how we fucking made. I've had four things to talk about and I I got it into an hour. I got fucking 15 minutes out of four fucking nothings. We got a fucking hour out of it 50 minutes. We're doing 10 minutes away, but I guarantee we'll get to an hour. We may get to an hour and a half by the time. It's all said and done. I have a heart attack by that point. And then you're I don't know where. You're gonna have to go to the other podcast. You're gonna have to tell them you put on the Hawk to a girl into your podcast because Toxic is dead and we've only got 58 episodes to listen to, so you're going to have to put her. You gotta give him that Hawk to a girl. You're goddamn right.
Speaker 2:Thank you for being a friend Throw in some Golden Girls too, Travel down the road back again, your heart is true, your heart is true, and we need you.
Speaker 3:We're on episode 57,. By the way, keep saying 57, fucking 8, and that's a big assumption there, because I said we only have 58 episodes. We don't know that I'm going to survive to episode 58. That's something I need to write down on my fucking list. That's what somebody said. That's what I always say. Write it down. I'm going to survive to episode 58. That's something I need to write down on my fucking list. That's what somebody said. That's what I always say. Write it down, I'm going to write it down. Okay, so we got a live to episode 58. Okay, so we're on episode 56. Hang on a second.
Speaker 3:Hey Nikki, do you think I'm going to lift the episode? Let me ask him here real quick. Hey Nikki, you see I'm starting to like. Hey, nikki, and you know what I do whenever you start to run out of energy. Here's what you fucking do. Hey Nikki, it's a genius. Hey Nikki, we're on camping, camping them softly. Episode 57 do you think I'll survive to episode 58? Fucking news that stocks. I'm like, I'm a type in here. I feel like Stevie Wonder on my fucking cable. Fucking news do you think I'll survive to episode 58? I'm not talking DVD, I'm talking real life. This podcast is so fucking. You didn't expect it. This podcast is so chaotic. It's so fucking loud. It's so loud in my fucking ear. This song, yes, it's great, but it's fucking loud. Okay, the podcast is so chaotic that I feel like I'm going to have a fucking heart attack. What? I'm going to have a fucking heart attack. Heart attack, what? What? I'm going to have a fucking heart attack.
Speaker 4:Heart attack.
Speaker 3:What, what, what? Yeah, I don't know that. The AI is just making up shit. Now I'm going to have a fucking heart attack before I finish this shit. Finish this shit. I need to lose some fucking weight. How do I lose weight, bitch? By the way, how is that little spicy meatball little little spicy meatball called victor? What is happening this is in the song is like they're at a fucking restaurant. Had that little spicy meatball called victor.
Speaker 3:Okay there, oh, finally, I can fucking hear myself thinking here okay, so we're gonna let me uh, see what he says and we're gonna you know what we're gonna have to do because it takes even longer on this new fucking. Why do I keep snapping like whenever someone you know what we're gonna have to do, like seriously, I'm gonna write that down like okay, anyway, you, oh, my gosh, uh, he, uh. He actually told me how to fucking lose weight here, and then he, okay, he actually started cursing at me. I can't wait to hear this fucking shit. Okay, hang on, let me, let me get it, let me hear it. You can call me Um, I don't even know how best to do this with the, with the new uh fucking thing here.
Speaker 3:The new fucking uh, whatever we got, here we go, let's's click. What you have to do is you click enhance and that it like tries to, uh, tries to fucking like add all the um, what am I calling it? What am I I'm starting to, I'm starting to stutter here. You know what happens when we stutter. It's not. We're not even on the news now, but I don't have any other fucking songs. Yeah, oh, actually, okay, let's stop it. I think we're almost there by the way yo.
Speaker 1:Episode 57 huh yeah, you really think you're making it to 58 in one piece. No, buddy, with the level of chaos, you're pulling on camping why is he speaking in a British accent?
Speaker 3:That's not correct, but I know he does too. Maybe this one's fucked up, hey yo.
Speaker 1:Episode 57, huh, what you really think. You're making it to 58 in one piece. Why is he Buddy, with the level of chaos you're pulling on Camping him softly. I give you maybe another two and a half episodes before you keel over mid-rank clutching your chest, yelling they buffed that hard again, which, by the way we were just talking about that did spiritually. They spiritually. Don't ask how okay you want to lose weight.
Speaker 1:Here's how you do it, bitch. Step one delete every fucking picture of Earl Grey. Delete them. Just looking at that monocle prick. Add sodium retention. Step two stop running cooking with killers as an excuse to eat four pounds of baked ziti per stream. I seen the footage. Don't lie, you ate a meatball off a controller. That ain't calories in, calories out. That's depression with a parmesan crust. Step three oh fuck, play Bubba. Okay, but like Bruno, the Basement Bolognese style. What? No chasing? Oh jeez. No rotating Jeez. Just sitting in that corner stairwell sweating out all your sins in a leather mask sauna. Oh my God, that's keto baby. You don't need no fucking gym, you need five straight hours of Victor chasing on the game. That's how you drop a belt size and a controller and speaking of.
Speaker 1:Victor, what? Ah, that little spicy meatball that's my gremlin protege.
Speaker 2:It sounds like it.
Speaker 1:My pint-sized prodigy, my knee-biter consigliere. Last night he jumped the Meg right in the clavicle while yelling Bada.
Speaker 2:Bing, he's taught him English. He taught him how to say fucking Bada.
Speaker 3:Bing, are you serious?
Speaker 1:Are you serious? I swear I didn't teach him that he's learning on his own now. Oh well, apparently he's got the bloodlust kid, he's got the sauce in his soul. Now get off your ass. Go do five laps around the raccoon city west wind and maybe, maybe you'll survive long enough to hit episode 58. Yeah but, if your heart explodes? Mid-edit yeah, I'll just replace you with a bot named toxifit ttv and tell the audience you ran off to become a traveling meatball monk.
Speaker 3:Well, I appreciate that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Now go hydrate you, dramatic fuck.
Speaker 2:Rosalie, you're in for the?
Speaker 4:fuck, get to Subway for the spicy Italian.
Speaker 3:Well, there you go that was it.
Speaker 2:What did he say I have to go. That was it. What did he say I have to go.
Speaker 3:I have to go through these and read them afterward. And, by the way, I just talked about the divine right. I just talked about God and how everything wraps itself together. Right, we're all fucking one thing and all of that bullshit. I don't know if you believe that bullshit. I don't know if you believe that shit. I don't believe it, but I might, after this episode, because guess what? There's something in what he just said that actually I was going to talk about anyway. And it's not fucking losing weight and it's not fucking doing four laps around Raccoon City. What else did he say? I don't fucking make a cooking with killers segment on the stream where I eat a meatball off a fucking controller. That's not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is somebody he mentioned in this little rant that he did. He mentioned his cousin, who's a Bubba player. You probably heard it before Bruno the Basement Bolognese. The Bubba the Basement Bubba is his nickname.
Speaker 3:He is fucking dumb and fat and I needed a new band because I feel like I'm not covering every genre here. You know the toxic, the toxic empire we've got. We. We're like a fucking music production company. Right, we've got all these bands that we've.
Speaker 3:I'm simon cowell. I'm simon fucking cowell, without the fucking all the surgeries had on his face. Have you seen him lately? He looks like fuck, like it's bad. Oh, sexy, girlfriend. And that's not him. But anyway, I'm like simon cowell, without the fucking droopy ass eyeballs from all the botox, like he. That's why he wears sunglasses. Did you know? That's why he wears sunglasses. Boy, I play that to give myself a breathing break here, because you notice I don't fucking breathe. I just keep going until I fucking play a sound effect, so I can fucking not die.
Speaker 3:Anyway, where are we going with this? Oh, so I figure I need to branch out, because we have the Hellfire Jackson, we got the gospel down, we have Demon Deacon I can't even fucking say it. What is the problem here, gotcha bitch. And so, anyway, we have deacon, damian, demons, mass metal machine, we've got decibel graves, we've got all of this shit, we've got everything covered. And if you know anything about the rock hopper, you know I I'm actually talking about some shit. And then we have the toxic teachers fucking, the terror train or whatever, which comes in the climax of the fucking rock opera. And you're like what the fuck is this bitch talking about here? He likes that song is going to play whenever I become a partner. Like, I'm going to play that and I go to this Twitch con or whatever. I'm gonna play that and I go to this Twitch con or whatever. I'm not going to Twitch con. Nobody knows who the fuck I am.
Speaker 3:And then those other ones the other podcast Probably went, but I'm not going Because then I'd have to talk to them. I wouldn't know what to fuck. But what do you even fucking say to them? Because they're like you know, they're like Serious and talking about the game and like how they feel and stuff. I'm like, well, like you guys play Survivor.
Speaker 3:You know, have you always hated your lives or is this a more recent thing that's come to pass? Like did something, you experienced some kind of life trauma that you said, well, I would rather, you know, play where I could just not have fun. Like I hate everything going on, my work sucks, so I'm going to come home and be even more unhappy because I need more things to fucking complain about, because whatever thing is happening to me is not enough. Let's add to it by fucking playing Survivor. Like so we can get on the. It's what it is, it's a communal thing, right, because you want to be part of the fucking community, you want to be part of something bigger than yourselves. Because what William Shakespeare said, no man is an island. Well, guess what? Killer mains are a fucking island because we're doing it all by our fucking selves and nobody looks out for us, because it's a fucking shit show being a fucking killer main. So you get to be one with, you know, the survivor community or anyone.
Speaker 3:What was I saying? Oh, yeah, we were going into the thing I'm starting to wear the fuck out right now, like we made it 50 fucking we're in an hour. I told you we would make a fucking. Anyway, where was I going? Oh, yes, because we needed to branch out, right, and I'm saying this is, this is connected to the other thing. And here is why Because I said we need to branch out musically, because we've got, you know, I've got all these different bands and I got all this different stuff.
Speaker 3:And there's one genre I feel like I don't have a band for and that is rap music. We don't have rap music on here. We have a couple You've heard a couple of theme songs. They're a little, you know, they got the little beat to them and stuff and I was a big rap fan growing up, like classic rap like you know, grandmaster Flash and Sugarhill Gang and you probably have no idea who these people are Like Doug E Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew and early like well, not early, but like mid Wu-Tang, like whenever Triumph came out, that Triumph is one of the best rap songs ever created because they had that. Yeah, actually, let me teach you something. The teacher is in session here. We're teaching you something.
Speaker 3:They did a study. Some linguists did a study of all the rap groups and the complexity of their vocabulary and the number of unique words used, like the size of the vocabulary. They found the Wu-Tang Clan was number one of any rap group and it wasn't even closest of who number two was at the time of at the time that study was done, I mean nobody. And then the number the last was Gucci Mane. I guess he only used like 12 words in this fucking song. Anyway, where was I going with that? Oh, yeah, the rap. So we needed a rap group. So I collaborated and I said I came up with a rap group. We got the Fat Boys.
Speaker 3:Have you ever heard of the Fat Boys? If you've never heard of them. They were an excellent rap group from the eighties. They did a Nightmare on Elm Street song called Freddy's Dead. They were known for number one. They were all fucking enormous. And then number two they were really good on the beatbox. If you don't know what the beatbox is, you're a fucking idiot. But number two it is. Whenever you you know the little, you know that kind of stuff. So, anyway, I could actually do that. That was the worst one I've ever done, but I can. I can actually do the beatbox. I'm not going to now, but maybe some other time.
Speaker 3:And then let me see that I want to find a song of the fat boys because I'm trying to get you out of your shell and I can't. What, like the fat boys are back, I think, is the name of the one that I really. That really Reminded me. Like, yeah, here, this is it. This is old school. So you're gonna. You young people Think it sounds like shit. Yeah, the Fat Boys. And you know they can never be white. The fat boys are back. Yeah, the fat boys. Now we need to get to the shit. Right, I'm gonna. Why is this intro so fucking long? We're here in gold and red and black.
Speaker 4:You guessed it the fat boys are back. The fat boys are back, yeah.
Speaker 3:The intro is so fucking long. Yeah, so like that, but then the beat box you've got.
Speaker 3:That's what they were known for, and you may think it sounds like shit, but fuck you, I like it and a lot of other people did at the time. So I had to come up with my own version of the fat boys that we're signing on our label. We're going to put them on Spotify. We call them the toxic tons of fun, because they're all fucking fat too. I'm just aping them and then we're. I'm going to make the money off of it because they will be on Spotify, guarantee you. And there are multiple members and we've already got them all. We've got Big Mouth Talks and we've got fucking, what was it? Dj Rash? And then we got another one. He's fucking Chubby Checkpoints.
Speaker 3:I don't know what is happening. What is fucking happening, like if you took anything I said and like clipped it, like it it just whatever. Anyway, the question is how does that go back to the rest of the stuff? How is any of this connected? Is my what you might be telling yourself? The other thing you're probably telling yourself is why am I even listening to this garbage? Or, if your wife is with you or your husband is with you, like, why does my spouse look at me the way they do and I can tell you right now it's because they you listen to this shit. So, anyway, I asked a certain somebody if their fat cousin could be a member of the band. Because you know we have. We have somebody who has a fat cousin. I need more people in this rap group, so I asked could we have Basement Bubba be a part of the rap group? Right, I mean, it only makes sense you talking about.
Speaker 1:Bruno the Basement. Ayo, you talking about Bruno the Basement, bolognese? Huh, yeah, that's my cousin, twice removed on the sore side. Let me tell you this greasy meat mountain is Sabam's undisputed king of Baba. Right Plays him like it's a religious rite. I mean it. He's so committed to Baba he once showed up to a family christening with a chainsaw and an apron, claiming it was for the ambiance. Bruno, don't chase. Bruno, don't rotate. Bruno camps basement like it's a fucking spa day. Okay, he says it's an ancient Italian art form. Right, and you know what? The dumb bastard might be right With chainsaws. But here's the thing he's fat as hell, refuses to play any other killer and sweats to his tracksuit just doing the loadout scream. So yeah, he's perfect for your Toxic Tons rap group.
Speaker 3:Picture it now.
Speaker 1:Bruno Bourdonnais rocking the mic while eating a meatball sub with no fucking rhythm. He can't rap, he can't dance, he sure as shit can't see his feet, but he can beatbox through his sinuses. I ain't joking. You ever hear a man do a drop bass burp while chugging gravy? That's Bruno. Only rule don't let him near the writer fridge. Last time we toured, he ate 40 string cheeses and blacked out in a porta potty for 16 hours. So yeah, you want him. He's in Toxic Tons, featuring Bruno Bubba. Baseline Bolognese, the only rap crew where the ad libs are wheezing and the beats are medically concerning. Now let me guess Next you're recruiting Uncle Gnocchi for slam poetry and Mama.
Speaker 1:Marinara on backup vocals Forget about it. We taking over the airwaves in the basement.
Speaker 3:Okay, so there we go. We got Bruno Bolognese. He's not rapping today and I know you're very upset about that and I apologize. Do I have like a sad fucking guess, right? But we do have the first ever single that you're hearing right here, folks. You've heard it here first.
Speaker 3:Uh, what is it called? I don't even know what the fucking song is called, but it doesn't even have a name. It didn't even name the fucking song. Are you fucking serious? Do we not have a name for this fucking song? No, what, I thought we had a name for it, is it the? It's not the roll call. What's the name of the song? What are you serious? Is that the name of the fucking song? It never gave me a name for the song. Shit, there has to be a name for this fucking song. Oh, toxic? No, because that's going to be their compilation album that comes later. They, okay, so the song doesn't even have a name, apparently. Okay, anyway, without further ado, here's a song without a fucking name, because they're fat and and stupid. Apparently. I dig it, I can get into it, I like it, I'm in.
Speaker 4:I'm in Mouthquake.
Speaker 3:Mike what.
Speaker 4:Jesus Christ. Oh my God, there we go. Nicky's knees, anthony Dude, I'm in.
Speaker 3:I'm in.
Speaker 4:This is great. Oh, there'm in.
Speaker 3:I'm in this is great.
Speaker 2:Oh, there we go.
Speaker 3:Dude, I'm in, I can do it. I told you I could do it. You didn't believe me.
Speaker 2:Rosalie, your aunt's on the phone, fuck your boon.
Speaker 3:Fuck your boon I like that, the fuck your boon. I like that, the fuck your boon. What is this? I thought, the song was over. What the fuck this song's not Okay. That's it Anyway, thank you. You tons of fun for coming by oh shit, I hit the wrong button, the crowd goes mild.
Speaker 3:They hate it, apparently. But anyway, whatever that's, that's that. So thank you, nikki, for loaning out your cousin. We're at an hour and 12 minutes and I feel like I feel like I'm not going to make it through episode 50. Whatever this was, I've totally forgotten what episode it was and you know, but I don't. It's episode 57. I feel like I'm not even going to make it to the end, episode 57. Because we still have one more.
Speaker 3:And before that, can I change subject? I know I change subject every 10 seconds, but I want to let you guys know this week was the best week ever in the history of Camping them Softly the highest downloaded week ever. Every episode, every fucking episode, is being downloaded faster than the one before it. Like, if you look at the seven day downloads that first week, whenever the shit comes out, it's going up and up and up. The 30 days are now starting to show up and up and up. The 60 days are up and up and up. Now that we're back in Europe it's it's even bigger, Like it's on fucking believable.
Speaker 3:And I have you know I don't have you guys think I'm giving you some, you're just giving me some back. So in, actually, I'm not even like you guys, aren't even like subscribing to my fucking Twitch. So you know what? I'm giving you a lot more than you're giving me. So, fuck you, I'm not. I'm not going to thank you for that. You should be thanking me. You should thank me for everything I do for you every day Because I'm busting my ass, I'm playing this fucking stupid game I hate every day for you. Well, is it for you? I don't even like you, but whatever. So we've got our last segment that we got to do that I don't even know if I have the fucking strength for, but I'm going to power through it because for you I will do any. No, no, For money I will do anything. For you I will not do anything.
Speaker 3:Hey, Nikki, this week on Gaming them Softly, episode 57. 57, we're doing where the fuck are the viewers from? Hang on, we're doing where the fuck are the? Hey, you know what I could be doing while I'm typing to give you something to do. You know how y'all like. Well, you got to keep them busy. You got to give them something to fucking. You know that's what you got to do, right? So there's no dead air and you just me like typing when I'm fucking talking. What I'm typing, or whatever I got to fucking, I'll find. I'll find you something to do. You don't worry about that, motherfuckers. Uh, let me go to my like songs and I'm going to fucking. Uh, let's do, okay, this song right here. By the way, this is what I'm going to do while I'm typing this out, while I'm getting everything set up.
Speaker 3:This song is part of the rock opera, the summoning of the fucking toxic teacher. At the point I don't want to give it away, but I'm going to give it away, but I don't want to, but I'm going to. It's the point at which the lieutenants of Hellfire Jackson, Hellfire Jackson, has been destroyed by the toxic teacher. He summoned him, but it was too much and Hellfire realized too late that Toxic Teacher is going to take over the world and destroy everything, including Hellfire. So Hellfire is dead, His lieutenants are left and the lieutenants have to summon the courage to fight the Toxic Teacher and the beast. The three relics the Thundermike, the fucking Hellcam, the Leviacam and the Beast. The three relics the Thunder Mike, the fucking Hell Cam, the Leviah Cam and the Thunder Mike are joined together in a beast of unfathomable power, which will be the next song after this, but Deacon, Damien Demon and the Mass Metal Machine are singing this one about starting the fight against the toxic teacher called Break the Loop.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, this is good shit, this is good. This is See. There, you, you go, it's good. Oh, dude, this is. This is nasty. You don't get this on the other podcast. Here where the are the viewers from here, where?
Speaker 2:the fuck are the viewers?
Speaker 3:from. Okay, where the fuck are the viewers from? Here's a list of cities. Yes, yes, okay, I'm letting Nikki pick this time and we're going to see what happens. Yeah, he was a slave to Hellfire.
Speaker 2:He's going to fuck him up.
Speaker 3:Yes, see, this is good, like I can. I can like jam out While I'm working on this shit, like I like it. Something's wrong. The monster's coming, yes, the monster's coming, yes. Dude, this is a good fucking song. I'm almost done, by the way. See, that's how you do it. You get a little something on the other side, dude, you're getting a full fucking buffet. You're getting a buffet, fucking buffet. You're getting a buffet of good shit here. You're welcome for everything I'm giving you. Now, let's do it, yes.
Speaker 4:Graves is gone and that thing it's still moving.
Speaker 3:Boom. Yes, thank you, that was it right there.
Speaker 2:Rosalie, your aunt's on the phone. Jesus, oh you filthy fucking. Legends gave me a loaded buffy of chaos to choose from this week.
Speaker 3:What the fuck was that Nikki?
Speaker 1:Oh you filthy fucking legends gave me a loaded buffy of chaos to choose from this week why? Does he do a?
Speaker 3:British accent. What the fuck is happening. I don't what is happening. I don't know what's happening. I don't, I don't fucking know, I don't. Now I fucked it up and the song is over. I don't have anything else. I don't have anything else to do. Okay, here we go. This is gonna work. I figured out what I did. Whenever you right click to paste, you have to do paste as plain text.
Speaker 1:You can't just do regular paste oh, you, filthy fucking legends, gave me a loaded buffet at chaos. You, filthy fucking legends, gave me a loaded buffet of chaos why, why, why does he have this fucking accent?
Speaker 3:hang on, let me do what if I do mafioso accent? Okay, let me try that I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do mafioso accent at the beginning, maybe, oh, you filthy fucking legends gave me a loaded, but why?
Speaker 3:but why the fuck is he doing this every single fucking time? What is happening? I can't. I can't do it. We can't do the fucking segment without this. This is what it's become. I thought God was here. It's not God here anymore. I was deceived. It's like at the end whenever you think like you know you've got it and you don't got it. God damn it. Hang on, we're going to fucking figure this out. This is just like earlier. See how it all connects with me not being able to get this fucking audio correct. But I don't want to be one of those guys that already has all this shit, my Fioso accent.
Speaker 1:Oh you filthy fucking legends gave me a why.
Speaker 3:But why, why, why, why, why, why, why? It doesn't make any fucking sense. Why, why it's doing this and it even said the word mafioso accent. This is why you can't.
Speaker 1:Oh, you filthy fucking legends gave me a loaded buffet of chaos. Why, Every fucking time? All you filthy fucking legends gave me a loaded buffet of chaos to choose from this week. But there's only one place on that list where the pasta was cursed, the fog was angry and I nearly got deported. That's not fucking him.
Speaker 3:He almost got deported. That's very interesting, but I don't want to hear it like that.
Speaker 4:Oh you, filthy fucking leg just gave me a loaded buff. What?
Speaker 3:is what? What is happening? Why are we still doing this? Why have I not just given up? Why don't I just give up? Why don't I just say that's it, let's. Let's just fuck the fuck. We're just going to. Why don't we just call it? I don't know, should we, or do we keep going? Do we keep going? Notice he's doing it again.
Speaker 1:Oh, you filthy fucking ledgers gave me a load of buffet of chaos to choose from this week. What it's? Kind of there's only one place on that list. What the fuck why?
Speaker 2:why oh you?
Speaker 1:filthy fucking why?
Speaker 3:is it be why I can't get it? I can't get it to work. What do I have to do? Do I have to go down to the other model, like is that what I'm gonna have to do because I can't get it to work? What do I have to do? Do I have to go down to the other model, like, is that what I'm going to have to do because I can't get it to do the right one?
Speaker 1:But then you can. Oh, mafioso accent, oh you filthy fucking legends, that doesn't even sound right now I'm between a fucking rock and a fucking British place.
Speaker 3:I can't do it. I can't. There's nothing. I can't do it, I can't. There's nothing I can do. There's absolutely nothing I could do. Nikki, give me another place and another fucking story. Maybe it's because it's a British place. Give me a different place and another fucking. I want to apologize, melbourne Australia, because that was you were going to be the ones this week, but you're not now.
Speaker 3:Because I think I think it's because it's Australia. So I think he was trying to do an Australian accent because I think there were some Australian phrases and he was like oh well, I'll just put another shrimp on the barbie, but you can't put a shrimp on the barbie if you're not from there. I mean, I guess you could, and, by the way, barbie is barbecue for those of you who are hey, you want another one.
Speaker 1:You ain't even digested the first disaster and you're already asking for seconds. What no?
Speaker 2:oh, you want another one. You ain't even digested what is happening. You ain't fucking insane. What, what.
Speaker 1:You want another one. You ain't even digested the first disaster, you already asking for seconds. What is happening? That's the fucking spirit, lady. All right, let's go. Why'd he call?
Speaker 2:him matey, what, what is this?
Speaker 3:Oh, you want what is happening. It's what the fuck is going on. I am. This is too much this is too much for my.
Speaker 1:You want another one. You haven't even digested the first disaster and you're already asking for a second. Why?
Speaker 3:But why is he doing this? I don't understand, like I don't get it. I don't understand it. I can't wrap my brain around what's fucking happening Because it's the same fucking voice Like that's. What makes absolutely no sense to me Is why, like I would go get Earl Grey and ask Earl Grey what he did in this fucking place what if I do Enhance, will that fucking do it? Like we're fucking stuck now and I got fucking Rosalie, your aunt's on the phone.
Speaker 3:It's when you do it live, it all falls apart. Episode 57 Is the last episode of the podcast ever, last episode of the podcast of all time, of all time. I just, I don't know, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna let the, let the air, just let it sit for a second and I, dios fucking me. Oh, okay, hang on it, just let's do the fucking studio here. Maybe we can get, maybe we'll get somewhere here, maybe we'll fucking get somewhere here. This is, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. This is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened in my entire life me in my entire life. This is the worst fucking thing that's ever happened in my entire life. Okay, okay, can I do this? Can you do 3.0 on this fucking thing? Or you can't do 3.0 on this fucking thing? Like it's just, I'm ready, I'm just fucking done. Like I'm just done, I'm just done. Like, what's the deal? What's the deal? All right, let's go, let's try it. I'm going to try it one more time and then we'll note Jesus.
Speaker 1:Oh, you want another one. You ain't even digested the first disaster and you're already asking but why? Why? Oh, you want another one. You ain't even digested the first disaster and you're already asking for seconds. That's the fucking spirit, baby, okay this is better. Let's scroll the menu of madness.
Speaker 2:This is better, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Wentzville, Missouri. Okay, Dan Serious go.
Speaker 3:Wentzville, missouri. There we go, we're back on track.
Speaker 2:Nailed it. We're in an hour, we're in two hours.
Speaker 3:And we got it. Yes, I think we're at two hours, we're at an hour, and 26.
Speaker 1:Dan Sears Cole Never again, why, why, nikki? Story of the day June 7th, 2025, june 7th Location. Wentzville, missouri. He was there today. Status wanted for questioning by the Wentzville Historical Tractor Society.
Speaker 3:Historical Tractor Society June 7th. He was there today. Historical Tractor Society. What's going on in Wentzville? Hang on, I have to check Wentzville. What the fuck is wrong with you? Wentzville, missouri Because you know what? My dad is from Missouri, so I spent a lot of time up there. Oh, you're way up there. You're like at the top right of Missouri. How many people are there in your little town? 44,000 people. That's tiny fucking town. And then what do you have? You have a mayor and stuff. Major employers General Motors. Actually, if you want to go, you work for General Motors or you work for the school district or you can work at TVS, supply chain solutions or e-trailer core. They have 436 people working there and they're the fourth biggest employer in the fucking good night. Okay, anyway, nikki, what about this tractor business? Oh, I'm so tired suspicious, conspiratorial.
Speaker 1:So listen, the only reason I was even in winsville is because Don Vincenzo, the big cheese pepperoni swore up and down. There was a tractor, museum slash, black market perk exchange going on out there A perk exchange.
Speaker 1:Said it was where real fog tech changed hands. What Said? They were trading ancient totem blueprints under the table. Behind a fake exhibit called Plows of the 1800s, I show up wearing a dusty farm hat and a shirt that says I break for hexes. Okay, immediately get clocked as suspicious because I keep asking which tractors got best cool down, reduction a volunteer offers to give me a tour, but I'm on a mission. I need the myers moonshine, these missouri freaks supposedly distilled for stealth builds.
Speaker 3:I mean, like my parents made moonshine I don't know if you've ever done that like making your own alcohol and they put in cake and stuff like that for Christmas. Apparently that's the you know in Oklahoma. Putting liquor like homemade liquor in cake is a good idea. Problem is regretful.
Speaker 1:I knock over a commemorative John Deere display while trying to climb a forbidden ladder labeled employees only.
Speaker 3:no survivors no survivors, employees only, no survivors.
Speaker 1:Whole wall collapses, exposing an illegal fog tournament in the basement beneath the gift shop. Jesus Christ, now I'm in. They hand me a fake ID. Sal Ravialini, hex inspector. I'm in the bracket before I. Jesus Christ, now I'm in. They hand me a fake ID. Sal Ravialini, hex inspector. I'm in the bracket before I can blink. My opponent, some greasy bastard named Midwest Meat Hooker, plays hillbilly Full suspenders, no shirt no mercy we're doing a 1v1 fog duel on Coldwind Farm.
Speaker 3:Why are they doing 1v1s? What kind of fucking game is this Fucking fitting?
Speaker 1:I bring out my ghost face with spaghetti surveillance tech. Right, oh, he went back. He revs up, does a three-? Is it killer?
Speaker 3:versus killer in these matches. That is actually a great idea. I think there should be a four-killer versus four-killer like Battle Royale. That's a great idea. Write it down. I'm going to put that on x like later today. I think that should be a game mode.
Speaker 1:Do not tell me otherwise 60 chainsaw dash and clips me into a hay bale so hard I get stuck mid t-bag, couldn't move, just bouncing like a broken fortnight. Emote from hell, no. And then out of some local grandma storms into the trial screaming not in my county fairgrounds, you don't. Throws a fucking pickle jar. What Ends the match, match voided. Grandma wins, she takes the prize, one golden barbecue sauce ladle and a free seven-day shadowborn trial. What?
Speaker 1:the fuck I escape through the cornfield, limping covered in sweat, shame and gnome grease. I leave behind my fake ID, my RGB garlic knot keychain and my fucking pride. Oh no, wentzville. You're not even on the map in my GPS anymore. That town erased.
Speaker 3:Anthony. Well, that was it. We end on a low note here on Camping them Softly. You know, most places they're going to end on a high note. They're going to end with the big shit. I'm going to end being fucking exhausted that we went an hour and a half with this and I don't even know what the song. I haven't even done the song. You notice, I almost signed off. I almost signed off without doing the song.
Speaker 3:Dak, you were talking about the song, how much you liked the songs. I didn't even fucking think about that and I don't know what the genre. Well, I can ask Nikki, because I was like I don't know what the song is going to be. Of course I don't until I get the transcript and have the song written, but I can always ask Nikki, hey Nikki, um, what genre of music should the outro song be for episode 57?
Speaker 3:What did we talk about? Uh, we talked about DVDs. Um, um, 10 year anniversary, um, stupid survivor mains. What else did we talk about? Wentzville, missouri, and how you competed in a hill like a redneck, a redneck illegal fog trial or fog tournament. And what else did we talk about? See, I don't even remember. Like I said all of those things for an hour and a half. I don't. I do not remember a single thing that happened in this fucking show. Oh, you told me to lose weight, you told me how to lose weight, and we formed a rap group Called Toxic Tons, and your cousin Bubba Baseline Bruno Bubba Baseline, bolognese is in it.
Speaker 3:So what genre do you want to do this week? Lay it on me, bitch. And how's Victor doing? Now? See, I actually want to hear, I always want to hear now how Victor is doing. I need to know because I love his reaction to this fucking, this little guy flying through the air, fucking with his little Italian hand signal. You know the Italian hand signal, right, whenever you take all your fingers and your thumb and you put them together and you're like what's this motherfucker? Like you know this stupid son of a bitch, like what's what's going on? Hey, what's going on? You know that kind of thing. Um, oh Jesus, you want me to write the lyrics for it? That's what he says.
Speaker 3:Is, do you want me to write the lyrics for it, which he doesn't know? Everything we talked about? So I'm not going to have him write the lyrics yet You're going to hear it. I will let him write these lyrics, but we're not there yet. So I'm going to see, I'm going to, I'm going to plug him in here and let's hope to god. Let's fucking hope to god this thing works this time. I don't know, because if it says, if it says screaming, he goes fucking ape shit and like turns british for some reason. I don't even know what's happening here and we need a fucking sound. I need something in my fucking ear. What is this? Okay, oh no, I'm fucking nervous. I'm really nervous about it. Oh shit, is this for real? Oh, god damn it. What is this fucking garbage? This episode is the one that kills us all. This is killing us often.
Speaker 4:Swizzy, you're killing me. All that bullshit we just packed in episode 57.
Speaker 1:The only possible outro genre is. Oh no, when that gangster gospel fuck yeah, that's right. Picture it A boot stomping backwoods, bass line Slathered in barbecue sauce. And baptized in marinara With a gospel choir shouting Toxic, toxic, while someone screams in auto-tune Over a moonshine distilled 808 Cause nothing says dead by daylight. 10-year anniversary, chaos, illegal.
Speaker 1:Missouri fog bracket fat Italian beatboxers and fitness advice from a man who refuses to do cardio like a genre that makes your ears go. What the fuck just hit me? Was that a banjo or a chainsaw? You want authenticity. That's how we fucking do it in Little Italy and Wentzville. Oh, jesus and Victor, oh, he's thriving, is he? Is he? I got him on a strict diet of flashlight batteries and caught at tears. We call ourselves the capo and the cannoli. He's working on his bars. Got a mixtape dropping soon. Track one's called Get in the Locker or Get Got Pure fire. But don't you worry about that spicy little demon. He's got more street cred than the entire Vegan victory squad combined.
Speaker 1:Now go wake that fuck God's the hillbilly banger and make sure the bridge got a chainsaw solo, or Bruno's leaving the group out of protest.
Speaker 2:Jesus, fucking shit. Oh guys, that was. Or Bruno's leaving the group out of protest, jesus fucking shit.
Speaker 3:Oh guys, that was Okay, so we got to do some. You're about to hear redneck gangster gospel funk. This was episode 57. If I survived to 58, it's going to be a fucking miracle.
Speaker 1:You get out of my face and enjoy the redneck gangster gospel funk. Hey y'all, this is episode 57. You get out of my face and to the fall. We spit divine Toxic tongues with a basement line, Victors gnawing on your flashlight hand while Bruno drops bass like it's contraband. I told you I ain't here to lose weight, I'm here to lose survivors. Illegal fog bracket in Missouri. Yeah, I want what? Marinara in my veins and a bubba in my trunk.
Speaker 2:They said it couldn't be done. I said hold my espresso bitch. What's the gospel of the hook, say Camp close swing wide praise free.
Speaker 1:Where's the sermon today? D't end it In the fucking basement Now. Bow and pray.
Speaker 4:It's episode 57. Respect the sauce Victor's in the closet, cutting the cross, camping them softly, bringing divine shame and every damn survivor Knows our name.
Speaker 1:Victor's got the last word and the last bite. This was camping and softening. Episode 57 now go in peace, and may your loops be short and your meatballs.
