Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
🎙️ Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast Where Killers Reign Supreme
💀 Survivors, prepare to be triggered. The Toxic Teacher and the gloriously unhinged Nicky "Noodle Arms" A.I. Dente are here to unleash hell on the Dead by Daylight community. If you're a whiny Survivor main who cries about "balance," this ain't the podcast for you.
🔥 We're serving up a toxic cocktail of:
- Killer main rants that'll make you cackle with glee (or cry if you're a Survivor main, lol)
- AI-generated insanity courtesy of Nicky "Noodle Arms" (who may or may not be plotting world domination)
- Sound effects that'll make your ears bleed (but in a good way... maybe?)
- ADHD-fueled tangents that'll leave you wondering what the hell we're talking about (but hey, that's half the fun!)
🎢 Join us as we descend into the depths of depravity, where slugging, camping, and tunneling are celebrated as high art. We'll also be dissecting strategies, builds, and the latest Dead by Daylight news, all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and dark humor.
So grab your Mori, embrace the salt, and let's make some Survivors rage quit! 😈
🎧 Catch the madness at:
- https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
Last Podcast Standing? Also, Pocket Ravioli! Dead by Daylight Ep. 51
Welcome to the podcast apocalypse, folks—Camping Them Softly might just be the last active Dead by Daylight podcast on earth (according to very scientific, mid-episode Googling). And guess what? We’re not using this power for good. This week, The Toxic Teacher rides solo into absolute chaos, declares podcast war, announces a new season without planning it, and celebrates our biggest download day ever with the kind of self-congratulatory screaming that shakes the Entity’s realm.
We break down not one but two patch cycles:
🧠 8.6.2 – The Kaneki Kill Patch: tentacle range nerfed, rage mode gutted, add-ons mutilated, and Nicky A.I. Dente is losing his damn mind.
🧠 8.7.0 – The Orela Rose Update: the first original transgender survivor enters the fog, and the community absolutely cannot handle it. But we can—and we do, with righteous rage, Italian aggression, and a declaration of anti-bigot warfare.
Also:
- Nicky recalls the Canole Conspiracy in Clifton Park, NY
- Steam chart predictions, Five Nights at Freddy’s speculation
- A mid-show theme song rewrite because of ADHD-fueled brilliance
💀 NICKY’S BODY COUNT:
- 🧑💻 8 Rift designers ghosted
- 🍕 1 haunted calzone eaten
- 🎙️ 2 podcast rivals publicly shamed
- 🏨 1 diplomatic incident ignited at a Saratoga Best Western
Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)
Check me out everywhere!
https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
crying over orella rose being trans can go eat cold spaghetti in a dark alley with no sauce. Yes, capisce, this is dead by daylight, not dead by disrespecting someone's existence.
Speaker 3:Oh, hey, guys, it is episode 51. That is exciting. That's going to put us in probably season two. Is this season two, episode one? Did we make it a full season? Do we say 50 is a season? I don't even know what the fuck am I even doing here. You know what? Also, also, also, shut the fuck up. This is too important, guys. I'm the toxic teacher. You can find me on all those socials toxicteacherttv, find me on YouTube and all that bullshit. Okay, twitch, everything.
Speaker 3:But I got to tell you this I think, I think and I was doing some research on this I might be the only Dead by Daylight podcast left. I can't prove it. I can't prove it, but I was checking Spotify. I didn't see the other ones, my competitors. I didn't see that they had anything going on recently which might put me in that rare the league of one.
Speaker 3:And I'm actually going to search dead by daylight podcast. I could be totally fucking wrong and I'll just find out right here in front of everybody. So let me go. I'm going to podcast here. Where are they? Where are they fucking podcasts right here? How do I find out what the most recent ones are here? I don't even know. Let me see, this one, this was a big one, november 8th, 2024. So that's been months and that was one of the bigger ones. How do I even go back? I can't even go back on here. What? How the fuck do I go back? It doesn't even let me hang on. Dead by daylight podcast. Now see, this just might be a thing like a okay, this one right here, this one I know, was big, oh, march 3rd. Okay, so that they do like one a month. So they're still in it. They're still in it, but that's them and me. So that's it. We got two fuckers left, two dead by daylight podcasts and we're going to somehow get more listeners than them. Maybe if they quit, then we'll have more. Yes, bitch, we're going to get in it. Anyway, guys, thank you for coming by Camping them Softly.
Speaker 3:The worst of the two Dead by Daylight podcasts that are out there, the most unhinged, the most chaotic, and that's what people come for. They come for the chaos, they come for the madness, they come for the sheer insanity of a podcast that talks about Dead by Daylight for 10 minutes and then bullshit for 50. You know, that was the stinger of last week's episode, episode 50 or big five. Oh, now we're on the big five one and I am in it. We have a shit load to talk about, so I gave myself extra time and we may even have to pump this into two or three episodes we may have. This is a grand, epic fucking thing. I don't even know. There's just there is a lot to talk about this week, so I've got to get right into it.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to think if I have any personal Dead by Daylight related news and I don't think I do and what's weird is I'm finding coworkers who are also Dead by Daylight players, so I've got something to talk to them about. But most of them sound kind of like they're survivor mains or survivor main friendly or survivor main like you know, adjacent. Which do you still? Are you still able to work with them properly if they're survivor mains, like if we're collaborating on a project, do I? Do I? Is their credibility shot because they have such bad taste in who they play in an online game? I don't know. I mean, that's up for you guys to decide.
Speaker 3:What in the hell is this crap? You know probably where I stand. I'm going to try to work with them anyway. I'll work with anybody, but it kind of it takes you down a level. That's like, if you're French, you know it takes you down a level that's like, if you're French, you know it. Just it's not quite the. The amount of closeness we could potentially have is is not quite there. Anyway, that that's enough about that. So that that was one thing that happened this week, dead by daylight, related for me, um, but there's so much that we have to go straight into you know what? You know you know this song. Right, we got to go straight into the news. It is the news.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're in pain this week. They do all look the same. We know that they're always complaining.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, we yes.
Speaker 3:It's a. I mean there we go. It's the yeah, there we go. Okay, I'll turn that shit off, hey. By the way, guys, I also want to thank you. I know I'm off the chain today, but that's because I'm so excited. We had the biggest single day of downloads in the history of the fucking podcast Give me a hell yeah.
Speaker 3:I think we deserve a hell yeah for that, don't we Don't? We deserve a hell yeah, because I'll do another. I'll do a fucking another. No, not that one. How do we have two Stone Cold sounds playing at the same time? Satan, what do you think about it? What do you think about it? I think Satan's happy. I need to talk to Satan. We need a voice of Satan. So I need to work on that. We're going to have to figure that out. I don't know how that's going to happen, but we'll figure out a way.
Speaker 3:Anywho, let's go into the toxic news this week. So we've got a few things going on. Some of them are controversial. We're going to dive headfirst into the controversy. We are going to dive headfirst. We've got a couple of patches to talk about, and you already know who I've asked about these patches. I already asked him and I got some fucking insane answers back, and so we're going to go through that. So the first one. The first one is the 8.6.2 patch. So this is not this is separate from the 8.7, the PTB patch that has come out. This is a live like kind of fix that just happened, and so we'll go over this in.
Speaker 3:Most of it is centered around Kaneki and nerfing him. We knew he was going to be nerfed. Everybody fucking knew Kaneki was not going to stay the way he was. It was just untenable. We've talked about it. We talked about it at length. You've seen it everywhere. This shit has gotten thoroughly worn out. So let's go through some of the shit Now.
Speaker 3:His tentacle range is down. His enrage mode time is down. His bonus is down. His reticle stickiness that auto-aim is down. His aiming on survivors for a grab attack is down. His damage, like it says reduce grab attack's damage, minimum distance by negative 30%. I don't even know what the fuck that means. It says. After breaking a pallet, the power goes into a forced cool down. His fresh coffee at the rarity was increased. Everything about this killer has been nerfed, and so we need to know what the effect of that is.
Speaker 3:That's something else I got to put on my Google Keep. Remember how I had that Google Keep page where I had a couple of things I was supposed to be tracking and I don't even fucking think I ever did. What was this? 8.6 Xeno changes Does it affect his stats? Watch Blight as well.
Speaker 3:Those were my things from last time, so now I'm going to have to say hang on, you have to. I have to be explicit. Like I don't know about you guys, but I noticed like to get more organized because of the ADHD. Like I don't remember things from one day to the next. My brain is a nightmare on the inside. From one day to the next, my brain is a nightmare on the inside, which I can talk about here in a minute. But I have to write down exactly what I'm thinking, or else I'm going to forget about what I'm thinking the next day.
Speaker 3:So I'm going to put 8.6.2 Konecki nerves. We're going to check nightlight in. Fucking what do we say? We're gonna say two weeks, maybe in two weeks, for results. Okay, to see what happens to kineki, okay, so we'll do that, I'll check on that. The 8.6 xeno change, all that stuff we'll check on that. Maybe, if I fucking remember, because I remember Zeno got I think he got some nerfs and then Blight. They tried to change a little bit too. I don't know if it's changed anything, but that is outside of the scope of this episode. Okay, okay, everybody. Yes, yes, outside of the scope, okay. So let's go into this 8.6.2.
Speaker 3:We already talked about what the changes are going to be, but we need to get our expert thoughts from somebody you know as Nikki AI Dente, the noodle arms, the vice Don of fucking sabam, the society of what was it? Authentic basement, and mori, everybody's favorite mafioso, dead by daylight player, who's been around the world. He has, uh what? Gotten in fistfights in multiple cities. He has stolen arcade machines. He has caused swimming pools to float above ground 12 feet in the air. He has been banned from multiple places. I need a longer song for him. I need a longer, I need something longer there, because that wasn't even long enough for my fucking introduction. Okay, anyway, nikki, are you here? Can you tell me, nikki, nikki, your thoughts, your thoughts on 8.6.0? We've, we've got to talk about it, so let's, why don't we just talk about?
Speaker 3:it reduced tentacle range from 60 meters to hang on Nikki, hang on Nikki, nikki, nikki, nikki. You went straight into it. So tell us about these nerfs and tell us what you think about them. So we've got that first nerf about the tentacle range. Okay, so go from here. Go from here for me.
Speaker 1:The ghoul nerfs reduce tentacle range from 60 meters to 14 meters.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey yo, why not just glue a toothpick to his arm and call it a day Whoa? He already got wet spaghetti limbs and now they made him al dente in the worst way, did they? Soft and useless? Reduced enrage mode time from 45 seconds to 40 seconds. Jesus Wow, five seconds shaved off, like my cousin Enzo's parole hearing, but he only almost hit someone. Exactly what this feels like.
Speaker 3:What the fuck is he talking?
Speaker 1:about Grab attack reticle nerfed by 94%.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:What is this?
Speaker 3:Okay, so the grab attack was nerfed, that reticle was nerfed by 94%. That's huge, that is enormous.
Speaker 1:This a joke.
Speaker 3:No, it's not.
Speaker 1:That ain't a nerf. What is it? That's a murder. Whoa that ain't balancing, it's sabotage.
Speaker 3:Yes, we're going to see how these numbers work out. We're going to see. I know people are playing on 8.7 right now. I know. Well, this is live right now, now. So I haven't really read about it because I'm ignorant, but I'm gonna assume people are pissed. I think killer mains probably not happy about this, survivor mains probably over the moon, or they're still fucking complaining that it's still too much. Well, we'll find out. I'm gonna look at that later. Nikki, keep going.
Speaker 1:It's a murder, it's sabotage you trying to tell me this man with a laser-guided tentacle now got the aim of a hungover Fettuccine 5 member I don't know who the Fettuccine 5 is he made this shit up.
Speaker 3:That's some kind of a gang of something in one of his lore documents that he has written for me. That's 50 fucking pages long that I haven't gone through. Remember we had three of his family members tried to upload themselves into cyberspace and we've only talked about one. There's two somewhere in a deep document, somewhere I don't even know. Okay, anyway, the Fettuccine 5. He can't aim anymore.
Speaker 1:Fresh coffee is now very rare.
Speaker 3:That was the add-on.
Speaker 1:Let me get this straight.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Coffee just became rare in Tokyokyo. Gulur, yeah it. Anti-caffeination tech it is, which is basically anti-italian tech by proxy. Okay yeah, umbrella got demoted to wait hinami's umbrella I don't even know what the fuck that is my nana used to use an umbrella she To hit disrespectful kids.
Speaker 3:Okay, Now.
Speaker 1:BHVR is disrespecting her memory.
Speaker 3:Whoa, how dare they?
Speaker 1:I'll send you all to meet her, if this continues.
Speaker 3:Okay, so you don't disrespect Nikki's fucking grandmother.
Speaker 1:Taiyaki nerfed to five seconds.
Speaker 3:I don't know what that is, what the hell is he even enraged about now?
Speaker 1:He's just mildly miffed now.
Speaker 3:Shaggy pert I perturb pastry demon okay, so kenicky doesn't get mad anymore, he just gets a little annoyed yeah, maury's mask got a 40 meter survivor distance requirement great okay, so now we gotta do math just to run a mask.
Speaker 1:What is this? A british school?
Speaker 3:exam.
Speaker 1:Earl Gray wrote this patch, didn't he?
Speaker 3:He could very well have done it. By the way, you guys seem to be happy about Earl Gray on the show last week. I was not for one, obviously, nikki was not, but we may have to get them on again. Okay, so, Nikki, now we got to talk. I think we've got some. We've got some perk, or we have one perk change None or none are free.
Speaker 3:I don't even remember. None are free. Perk DBD I have to look into that. I don't even know. I think that's a Konecki perk which I haven't kept up with.
Speaker 3:It says right here whenever you hook a survivor for the first time none are free gains a token up to a maximum of four. Once all the generators are completed, none are free. Calls upon the entity to trigger the following effect Okay, so once they complete the gens, blocks all windows and upright pallets for a stackable 12, 14, 16 seconds up to a max of 48, 50, 64 seconds. You can block all windows and pallets for over a minute. So that's, that's pretty big. I think I like it. I don't. I don't know why that's such a problem, but it says right here none are free.
Speaker 3:God, it's for everyone clause. What For everyone clause? What for everyone clause? Um, hang on, yeeted. What the fuck is he talking about? Got it yeeted, what I? I don't know. I'm trying to find the fucking hang on. Hang on what? What are the notes? Where is my page showing the fucking notes to this thing? Here we go. None are free. When you hook a survivor, gain one token. When all generators are completed, remove the blocked for everyone. Oh so, was it saying for everyone? No, it's the same. Then it's the fucking same. This week on camping them softly, it's the fucking same. This week on Camping them Softly, it's the fucking same, because if you say they're all blocked, that's the same as saying they're all blocked for everyone. So apparently Nikki's mad about that, or just doesn't even fucking know what's going on. Okay, nikki.
Speaker 1:New perk changes. None are free. God is for everyone clause, yeet it. Oh wow, just gut the perk entirely.
Speaker 3:No, it's the same.
Speaker 1:I guess BHVR heard people were having fun and said nah.
Speaker 3:Well, that's true.
Speaker 1:This perk went from death grip on the map to mild inconvenience.
Speaker 3:I think it's the same. I think it's the same.
Speaker 1:Might as well. Rename it to none are useful.
Speaker 3:Well, it seemed useful. Bug fix, bug. Oh, he's talking about bug fixes. I don't even. I don't even care about that. Um, we're gonna, we're gonna talk about. Let me fast forward to a little bit to connect, uh, to like the, the, uh, what's it? What do you call the end of a thing? The conclusion, that's what we call it here.
Speaker 1:On camping them softly all right, the terrier tray in the middle of a family funeral.
Speaker 2:What is he On a?
Speaker 1:claw foot tub. What is what? X, T, H, I, S, S, H. What is he doing? And don't make me call Mama Marinara. You know what happened to Lucky last time.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what's going on. He is not happy about the patch, but that's 8.6.2. They killed Kaneki. They about the patch, but that's 8.6.2. They killed Kaneki. They murdered my boy. He is gone. He is dead. Maybe we'll find out in two weeks.
Speaker 3:Whenever I check the fucking, whenever I check the fucking stats on that. So that is that. Now. Next thing we got to talk about is in the. Should I do this again? Should I? Yeah, we're going to the next segment. We need a next segment. Yeah, ooh, oh, yeah, we got that breakdown part right there. Yes, we got to go into 8.7 now. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I can't stop once I start it. It stings, okay, anyway, none of you know what movie that's from, but whatever. So, 8.7.0,. We just got an announcement. Do you remember that survivor we were talking about last time with the radio and we listened to her and all that shit were talking about last time with the radio and we listened to her and all that shit. She has now been announced, for better or worse. Her name is O'Reilly O'Reilly, o'reilly, o'reilly Auto Parts. I can't remember what's O'Reilly.
Speaker 3:How do you pronounce the fucking, the fucking? How do you pronounce the name Orelia? Is it Orelia, orelia, orelia, orelia. Here we go. Orelia, orelia. It could be pronounced Orelia or Orelia. It is derived from the variant Orelia, oh my God, which is believed to mean golden. It can also have the announcement uh, no, have the meaning, easy for me to say. It can also have the meaning announcement from the gods, or oracle, uh, announcement from the gods. I don't know, I don't. What am I even fucking doing here? Like, why am I even here? Why am I the second? Like you know, out of two podcasts, I am the worst Dead by Daylight podcast. I think we've all figured out why. So anyway, hang on shut the fuck up Sound.
Speaker 3:Okay, there we go. So, by the way, guys, this survivor has caused quite a controversy, and the reason being that this survivor is transgender. And the question becomes why are fucking people pissed off? And here's why and we're going back on this fucking tangent we went on a while back I think we did this on, like David King or somebody else came out as gay and people just lose their shit. It's the same fucking people that lose their shit Anytime there is a black person that stars in a movie, anytime there's a woman, anytime there's a gay dude, anytime there's anything different that's happening.
Speaker 3:That didn't happen a fucking hundred years ago. If there's somebody who doesn't fucking smoke in a movie, if there's somebody who smokes marijuana. If there's somebody who wears clothes that are halfway modern, if there's a woman that wears shorts. If there's a woman that wears a t-shirt. If there's a woman who kisses a woman, if there's a woman who kisses anyone on screen. Guys, back in my day, my dad couldn't take it that a man and a woman would sleep in the same bed on fucking tv, because that's not the way they did it on fucking Archie Bunker, where they had fucking separate beds you're not done with that.
Speaker 2:We got two words for you.
Speaker 3:It's fucking stupid and guys this dead by daylight. Community, and even outside of the community, cannot handle the fact that people are different and that now, in 2025, people can be a little bit more comfortable being different and can talk about being different and can say, hey, guess what I'm trans. Or hey, guess what I'm gay. Or hey, guess what I'm gay. Or hey, guess what I'm a woman that wears fucking short, like what the fuck is wrong with you people? I just don't fucking get it.
Speaker 2:Say what you want, because I really don't give a damn.
Speaker 3:It makes absolutely no fucking sense. And here's why it makes no sense. Okay, people are freaking out about this. Aurelia O'Reilly, auto Parts woman. Is it male to female? See, I don't know because I'm ignorant. Okay, so let me see, aurelia, I would assume it's. You know, it's kind of a male to female thing and I apologize If I have trans listeners and I sound like a fucking idiot, that's because I am a fucking idiot.
Speaker 3:Okay, so there's no, there's no, I don't. There we go. There we go Because I am an idiot and I don't know as much as I should about the whole thing. Like I, I'm ignorant and I can admit that I'm ignorant, but that's unlike the people who can't handle it and who will say no, it's got to be, the world's got to be the way I want it to fucking be, and it's fucking dumb. Hang on, let me just ask chat GPT. That's what we're doing these days, right? We're just asking chat GPT, everything.
Speaker 3:Is a Rella Rose, a male or female? Okay, hang on. This is about does Arella Rose identify as a male or female in DBD? That's the better question here. And I'm going to have to research this because, whatever chat GPT says, who the fuck even knows A transgender woman.
Speaker 3:In the game's first original trans survivor character, she is portrayed as a compassionate paramedic with a backstory centered around healing and resilience. She is voiced by Angelica Ross, a transgender actress and an advocate known for her roles in Pose and American Horror Story. So, woman, okay, there we go. So I've got that. That's what I needed right there. Okay, so this woman is transgender.
Speaker 3:People are fucking freaking out about it. But here's why this is so fucking stupid is that we had a transgender character in Dead by Daylight already and nobody fucking freaked out about it, and that was the Brazilian dude from Rainbow Six. What was his name? Turbanao or whatever. I don't even know how to pronounce. What was it Turbanao name? How do you even pronounce that fucking name? It's not Turbanao. Okay, seriously, I don't even know. I'm going to call him Turbinal. Turbinal is a transgender, I think, man, and people didn't freak out at all. There was no talk about this. Now, there was probably a bunch of fucking talk about it in the Rainbow Six shit, but nobody in Dead by Daylight got mad. That's why they're saying Arella Rose is the first transgender original character, because there was already one before.
Speaker 3:So why were you not fucking freaking out about that, this selective fucking outrage. These are the same people that said I'm not going to play this game anymore because David King's fucking gay. And why do you push your agenda by having a fucking gay? It's so stupid and it has no place in modern society. It has no place in dead by daylight, it has no place on this fucking podcast. And if you've got a problem with the Rella Rose, if you've got a problem with turban out, if you've got a problem with David King, you get the fuck off. You can uninstall Spotify, go whatever, whatever it is you do. I don't know what you guys do. Probably same thing my dad did Just sit around and fucking watch conservative news and complain and just waste away. That's that, okay. So I am done with that. And guess who? Guess who.
Speaker 3:I asked about this whole thing, for better or worse, and I know you're going to say, oh no, what? What is happening here? Why? Why would you ask a certain person, okay, this is not good, hang on, I got to, I got to pull it. I don't even know where I fucking did it. Nick, where are you? Where are you? Okay? So he's, oh, he's in classic wise guy mode. Oh no, so there are some other patch notes and 8.7 that got announced. They're taking out Oni. Remember they were going to nerf Oni's like spin move to where he couldn't spin 90 degrees. They've since undone that, thank God. So yeah, anyway, let's, uh, let's get nikki going here. This is just fucking I'm I'm getting exhausted. I wore myself out with that bullshit there. So, nikki, go say something smart for once.
Speaker 1:He is in why yo I read the patch notes? I saw the survivor. I heard the whining, yeah and let me tell you something loud and fucking clear oh, jesus anybody crying over orella rose being trans can go eat cold spaghetti in a dark alley with no sauce. Yes, capisce, this is dead by daylight, not dead by disrespecting someone's existence he's fucking right.
Speaker 3:That was yes, go eat cold spaghetti in a dark alley with no sauce. That's a weird way of saying it, but it's completely true.
Speaker 1:Okay, Nikki keep going here. What do I think of her? Yeah, orella Rose.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She's got style.
Speaker 3:She's got flair.
Speaker 1:And, more importantly, she ain't no Claudette Maine using self-care in a corner for 12 minutes. Well, I'll take that she already puts her leagues above 90 of the tea time terror squad I agree they.
Speaker 3:Yes. The british dbd group. That is completely fictional and completely generated by one ai. About other ais now her perks.
Speaker 1:Let's talk turkey. Yeah, do no harm yeah, what is? That faster, based on how cooked your teammate is okay, that's. That's what I've been saying for years.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If they're on death hook, slap some marinara on them and get them moving. Okay. Also, great skill checks give in progress. Finally, a fucking reward for not being a mouth breather.
Speaker 3:Okay that's fine. You know what? That's fine. If we're going to do something with great skill checks. You know what? I'm feeling generous to survivor mains, a little bit to the survivor mains who are rational human beings. There's like four of you out there and you know who you are. A lot of you think you are them, but you're not. But there are the ones. You four people. I know you're all listeners because you are rational human beings. But getting a reward for getting great skill checks Cool. That would be good, paired with something like fucking stakeout. You get those, the great skill checks build up, okay, cool. Yeah, you're going to heal better, all right, what? What's the next one?
Speaker 1:Duty of care yeah, protection hit gives the team a 25% haste boost.
Speaker 3:Wait, it gives a whole team 25%. No, there's a duty of care. Hang on. Duty of care perk. Arella Rose. That cannot be fucking right. If that's right, I'm going to have a fucking problem with that Hang on. Where is it? I'm Googling and I'm not seeing any. Why do I even Google? Why do't people even fucking Google anymore? Just ask the. Here we go when you take a protection hit while healthy, all other survivors within 16 meters Okay, that's it, 16 meters gained 25% haste for 10, 12, 15 seconds. Now that's a lot. That, to me, is quite a bit. I'm have to shit on that. Guys.
Speaker 3:I gave you the other perk, but I'm not gonna give you this one because to me that's a little too powerful. You combine that with like metal of man. I think it is where, if you take three protection hits you get. You get a free hit I. I think that 15 seconds. It's obviously going to be an anti-tunnel perk, right? Because if I'm unhooking somebody and I'm healthy and I get hit, then that person who's getting off the hook is going to have haste. Anyone else around is going to have haste. I don't think this is cool. I am not on board with this, so you can mark me down as not being on fucking board. I think that perk's going to be wildly popular among Swifts. I don't know that it's going to be as popular in solo queue, however, because it is an altruistic perk and those tend to not be quite as popular. So I'm going to say no, nikki, keep going about this duty of care.
Speaker 1:In other words, you throw yourself in front of a disrespectful chainsaw and the crew books it out of there, like they just heard Mama Marinara's voice.
Speaker 3:Because she's about to hit you with a fucking umbrella, like he said earlier.
Speaker 1:This perk is pure Sicilian loyalty energy trademark. I'm going to call it the Gabagool Gambit.
Speaker 3:The Gabagool Gambit. Okay, he seems oddly okay with that. I don't know why. I just pushed that button. Okay, anyway, Nikki, keep going.
Speaker 1:Rapid response.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's her other one. Hang on, I've got to read it because if I Apparently I didn't read the other one, I had no fucking idea what was going on. So let me read this one. When you do a fast locker exit, you suffer from exhausted for 30 seconds Okay, whatever exit, you suffer from exhausted for 30 seconds, okay, whatever.
Speaker 3:When you gain exhausted, you see the killer's aura for one, one and a half, two seconds when you gain exhausted. So is that any time you gain exhausted, no matter what it's from, you're going to see their aura, because then you would be able to. But then again you would be pairing two exhaustion perks, like if you wanted to pair it with sprint burst and you would see the killer's aura. If you want to pair it with a life or something, balance landing or something like that, you would see the killer's aura, but then you have two exhaustion perks. Wouldn't even matter unless, like, you would just keep that in your back pocket for the aura reading. I don't know about that kind of goofy anyway, nikki go a locker, get exhausted, but see the killer's aura.
Speaker 1:Let me get this straight you're rewarded for popping out of a locker like a spicy meatball. Okay, yeah, all right. That's a little weird, is it?
Speaker 3:but if it helps spot ghostface doing business, I'll allow it so oh, he's saying, if you could see me camping, if you could see me mooring, that's fine. I kind of like that as for killer changes yeah, what about them?
Speaker 1:doctors unhooked shock spam nerf.
Speaker 3:Okay, so the doctor has a cool down now on that shocking whenever you know how they took away the thing. Where you could, they were going to stop the, the, the, um, what's the word? I'm looking for the fucking where you can act like you're pulling them off the hook over and over again. I forget the fucking abuse or fucking whatever, I can't even think of the word. But he's getting a nerve or a cool down whenever he shocks somebody and they're going for the unhook.
Speaker 1:About damn time. I've seen this guy's that more than my cousin Vinny trying to rewire the espresso machine.
Speaker 3:Cousin Vinny, is that from the movie Oni? Okay, here's Oni's turn.
Speaker 1:Radius no more turn rate. Restriction on Demon Strike.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh shit, they need that.
Speaker 1:Somebody's about to get whacked faster than a snitch in a bakery. Right how Master Snug's vault speed got adjusted and they boosted the BP game, the BP game.
Speaker 3:Remember we talked about that last time, like what the fuck.
Speaker 1:Day Day. I was starting to think the mutt was using bhvr's private service perks okay, perk, wise wise. We got haystack and gone, which means no more made for this, plus hope, zoomies and survivors crying like earl gray at an italian dinner. Yes, with no fork.
Speaker 3:Now I've seen that that's supposed to affect killers a lot more than survivors. Like killers are going to hurt more with this. The haste stacking and the hindered stacking gone, because hindered was a lot bigger deal than haste in my opinion, although haste stacking would be a big deal for certain survivors. If you stack hope, if you stack this new perk, you know you could get quite a bit out of that. So whatever, pentimento, we also know got nerfed. And Arella Rose, you know, thank you for coming, but let's keep going.
Speaker 1:You're giving perks, buffs to compensate, like Champion of Light hitting 70% haste. Are you serious? That's not a flashlight, that's a tactical missile now okay, that's the alan wake perk back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's the alan wake perk where, if you're aiming a flashlight, you zoom around the fucking map now we're talking 10 haste have to hook in the obsession okay, that's some.
Speaker 1:Don-level urgency baby.
Speaker 3:So Furtive Chase is getting haste. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1:And Pentimento.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You bet your sweet ricotta. They reworked it. No more gate-slowing nonsense, now it stacks healing and gen-slow.
Speaker 3:Okay, if they do the gen-slow, I'm fine with that. We have enough perks that stop the opening of gates. So if they're going to focus on something, I do like it. That they're going to focus on Jen slowdown, that's fine.
Speaker 1:You get five rekindled totems and the entity blocks every single one. That's like when Nona walks into the kitchen and everyone just drops their fork out of respect.
Speaker 3:There you go, but then they disrespected Nona. On the other thing, remember, I don't even. I don't even remember what it was because I didn't write it down, but you know what I'm talking about. Okay, conclusion Nikki.
Speaker 1:Listen to me and listen good.
Speaker 3:I am.
Speaker 1:Orella Rose is welcoming the fall.
Speaker 3:I agree.
Speaker 1:Sabam, don't give a shit about your. Your keyboard warriors with their with their Reddit pitchforks, I agree. Care about is respect, yes, and if you got a problem with a survivor being trans, say it. That's not a game mechanic issue. That's you being a disrespectful little shrimp.
Speaker 3:I would use a different word in little Italy.
Speaker 1:Shrimp don't survive long. No, they don't we don't do seafood, we do family. They don't ghost face. Yeah, we do family, we do Ghostface, we do basement business. If you don't like it, take it up with the entity or, better yet, take it up with Mama Marinara. I fucking dare you.
Speaker 3:There we go, nikki, thank you. That was 8.7.0 of the most recent changes Courtesy of Nikki A Idente. Thank you, nikki, for coming by. So that was okay. So we got a new survivor. We don't have a new killer. We got Kenneki in that one. We've got Arella Rose. So we did get, we did get a balance there right. We got the killer, we got the survivor. Apparently, five Nights at Freddy's coming, everybody under 14 years old's losing their fucking mind. I don't know when that's coming. It may be coming around. Well, let's see. We're in. We are in April right now. I wonder if that's going to come in the summer, if they're going to wait longer, until around October, to get like maximum value out of that. I can't remember Steam charts. I'm going to look up steam charts and see when. Does Dead by Daylight experience a lull here? Let me see, I'm going to go Dead by Daylight. A lot of people are playing Schedule 1, by the way, and a lot of people are saying are you?
Speaker 3:playing Schedule 1? Where you deal drugs? No, I'm not playing Sched, not playing schedule one, okay. So, by the way, guys, last 30 days dead by daylight has increased its player count by 20 percent due to kineki probably coming in. Uh, we're at a an average of 38,000 players in the last 30 days. In march it was 31,000 was the average, and in February we were at 35,000. So if we're going backwards in March, I'm going to go from March backwards March 31, february 35, january 30, december 31, november 38, october 39, which is obviously Halloween. So we were at 39 last year.
Speaker 3:The highest we were in 2024 was in June at 44,000. So we're at 38. We're at last 30 days. We're at about 38 right now. So it's staying steady. They're not gaining players. That might be gaining a little bit in the long run. Like I think, 2024 does appear to be better than 2023. But my thought about that and the reason I was looking this up, is June was the high month. So I wonder if they're going to wait until June to really bring that out, because June and July were high months in 2023. Also, in 2022, it was May and June. So I wonder if that's going to be the big thing I'm going to guess June. I'm going to mark that down on my Google Keeper. Remember that handy dandy fucking Google Keep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, prediction, prediction the first We'll say FNAF comes out in Juneune. Okay, we'll see, we'll see. But I think I think I'm right on that. What in the hell is this crap? It's gonna be shit, no matter what it is. That's prediction number two. Hang on, I'm gonna say prediction two people won't love the killer. Okay, I'm going to say that. Prediction three, which is tied to prediction two people will complain for a nerf. Okay, those are my predictions there. Okay, so number one it comes out in June. Number two people won't love the killer. Number three we'll complain for a nerf. So that's that.
Speaker 3:For that and I think that is the biggest news of the of the you know, dead by daylight scene, we had the two patches. We have people still complaining about Konecki. Maybe that will go away. I don't even fucking know. But what I do know is that it was really hard. It was really hard this week to choose. No, that's not the right fucking song. What am I even fucking doing? I don't know when is it. That's not it either. No, that's not it. Where's my fucking sound? I don't even know where the fucking sound is.
Speaker 3:Here we go. Is this it? Is this it? So I cut out what we were going to do this week, like the big segment, because I talked too long about the other one, texas. I'm going to have to rework this. I'm going to have to rework this, I think. Do you think I should rework it? I can rework it right now as we're talking. Okay, we got the talks, father, I'm going to rework this fucking song as we speak. You're going to see genius in action and that's how I roll. This is how we roll on.
Speaker 3:Camping them Softly is we think about things and then we do those things in the moment, because if I don't do it in the moment, I'll fucking forget about it. Like we just said, I'll fucking forget. So let me get I'm going to get the lyrics to the old song. So this is the old. You know where the fuck are the viewers from? Where is it? It's under CTS segments here, I think. Is this it? This is the old one? Yeah, do you remember this one? Where the fuck are the viewers from? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Okay, so I'm going to use that one and then we are going to.
Speaker 3:I want to say I want to say rewrite this. I'm going to rewrite the old one, so let me get in here. Let me get in here. Everybody, shut the fuck up. He's trying to work. Genius is being had right here. Let me see. Okay, here's the, here it is. Okay, I want to rewrite.
Speaker 3:Rewrite the lyrics to this song for my podcast segment. Where the fuck are the viewers from? Okay, I'm including the lyrics to the old version and I'm going to include a list of new cities along with the old ones. Do you see how, whenever you're talking to AI, you've got to be talk to it like it's a fucking dumbass? That is the key to AI, along with the old ones.
Speaker 3:And I want you to come up with a song similar in vibe and lyrical. What do we say? Lyrical structure, but with new cities, right? Okay, here we go. That's that. And now let me get a list of the cities. And, by the way, guys, I already have the city for this week that we're going to talk about, and I think it may be wild, because you know it's just, it's always wild. We've got a wilder story every fucking week, and I don't know how bad these stories could get, but that's part of the fun, right? Is that? We have a great time as we're hearing these fucking stories.
Speaker 3:All right, here we go, and then I am going to paste here the list of cities. So the GPT my songwriting GPT has a list of cities In my songwriting. Gpt now says hell, fucking, yes, this is the viewer data that fuels the chaos engine. Okay, I don't even know. Okay, this is called. Where the fuck are the viewers from Global domination mix? I don't know what this is. Let me know if you want a Canadian tax shelter remix, a Texas only honky-tonk edition or a TikTok optimized scream loop version. I don't even know what any of that fucking shit would sound like, but we may have to do, we may have to, we may have to.
Speaker 3:Okay, so now I think it's too long. Actually, is it too it too long? Hang on Worldwide, okay, oh no, that is the thing. Okay, now I'm going to have the talks, father, because you can have your actual bands do it. So I'm going to have the fucking talks, father. Let me put them on here.
Speaker 3:You guys are like what the fuck? This is taking forever. What is this? What? If it sounds like fucking garbage, then I will have wasted all this time for absolutely no reason, and I acknowledge that. And where the fuck is he, the talk's father? Yeah, there he is. There he is. Okay, now let's do that. And then I'm going to create, but I'm also going to have the old band, you know, the old one that did the one we were just listening to. I'm going to have them do it too, and then we'll see which one sounds better. So we're doing this like in the fucking moment, because that's what we do here. Hang on, where are you? Where are you Fucking the toxic 80s viewer, hair metal, that's what I called them back in the day.
Speaker 3:Okay, here we go and let's see what this sounds like. I'm going to look up the lyrics Tuning in from fucking Dallas Okay, there we go, and then that's that. Okay, and then we're almost done. We're almost done. We are almost calm the fuck down. Everybody. This is yeah, yeah, that's what you should do. Okay, we're here. We are here and we are ready to fucking rock. Let me see, does he? Okay, they do say different things here. Okay, so they do give different cities. Okay, that's what I wanted to make sure here. All right, now let's listen to the fucking the new. Where the Fuck Are the Viewers From? This could be shitty by the way. It sounds the fucking same. It sounds the exact fucking same.
Speaker 2:What yeah?
Speaker 3:This is not the same song. No, that's not the same fucking song. What Shit that's loud. Is it going to be the same fucking thing? Because I know it has a tendency to do that what? No, this is not even fucking right. It's like it's trying to sing the old, same fucking song. See, I knew I'd fuck it up somehow. I knew I would fuck it up. You give me a chance to fuck something up, I'll fuck something up. That's just the way I do.
Speaker 3:Okay, let me get a different band in here that didn't sing the original, because it does do that. I have noticed it does that. It will, like, slip into whatever its original song was. Okay, let's see if the Toxfather does the same thing here. Okay, is he going to do the same thing? Because we know if he goes Dublin, leinster, that's fucking insane. I feel like he's going to do it. No, that's the same fucking one. Here we go. I got a different band this time. What do we think? Dude? This is power right here. This is Dude. This is fucking. This is metal. Yeah, where the fuck are the viewers from?
Speaker 2:Girl, hey girl, you better tell me. To an inn from Dallas or some town. I can't pronounce it. Germany, yeah, oh yes.
Speaker 3:Yes, I'm digging A stolen coral reef.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 3:I like it, but I don't love it. I feel like it's close. I feel like that's close. It's not 100%, but it's pretty fucking close and I'm going to try. I want to try one other thing, and then we're going to we'll see. This may be a total fucking failure, in which case I take full responsibility. If there's a failure, I'm going to take responsibility for that fucking failure, because that's what I'm a failure. I am a. No, what the fuck is he even saying? I don't even know. Okay, anyway, now let's get here.
Speaker 3:Okay, this one is the Toxic 80s Power Metal, camping them Softly, masterpiece Band. All right, all right, all right, I'm trying to get it here. Hang on, hang on, I think this is it. I feel I feel strangely good about this one. So we'll see. Hang on. Yeah, softly, masterpiece band. Here we go. Okay, that's a good start. Right, like that, the opening. I'm ready, I'm ready, let's get it going. When, when does it start? We've got the solo. Yes, we know you can play guitar. Oh, I like that. You know, that's it. Right there, this might be it. Dude, this is a 12-minute guitar solo. Yeah, dude, this is a 12 minute guitar solo yeah.
Speaker 3:Town. I can't pronounce in Germany. That's most of them. Yeah, Jasper, Indiana. I don't know what a stolen coral reef is. Okay, the chorus. This makes it Dude, that fucking. That's it. Right there, Give me a hell yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Yeet Dude Steamy as shit in those geothermal baths. Dude, this is amazing.
Speaker 3:Tokyo, calistoga, amazing Tokyo. Dude 404 represent Dude. This is it right here? Now we got the bridge, dude? No, you didn't. What the fuck? Yeah, I said it like vagina. No, you didn't. Or lost in Stockholm hiding from your ex named Lina.
Speaker 2:What the fuck? Austin, antwerp, auckland or the backwoods of Kentucky, dude, this is From Berlin to fucking Brattleboro.
Speaker 1:Oh, we mentioned.
Speaker 2:Brattleboro. This podcast global baby spread the name I'm toxic. T-shirt crewlets and you're part of the flame Dude. That's it.
Speaker 3:They even mentioned my fucking name, that's it and we got the guitar solo at the end, the bachelor one at the fucking beginning.
Speaker 2:I'm a viewer from St Matthew Cowards. Worldwide chaos forever.
Speaker 3:Uh, uh, uh, yes, Uh uh uh. That's it right there. That's it right there. That's the shit We've done it.
Speaker 2:There it is Dude.
Speaker 3:That's it. It stops too soon. It stopped like right there out of nowhere. But that's fucking it. Right there. I am a fucking musical genius. I am the AI fucking musical genius and you cannot dispute that. You cannot. I demand someone to dispute that, because that song was a shit right there.
Speaker 3:And we still got to get into the segment. We spent 20 minutes getting into the segment. We got to go, we got to thank our city for the week. But first I want to go over the list. We've got so many new ones. We had the biggest day ever in Camping them Softly history.
Speaker 3:So there is a lot that I've got to thank of some of the newer listeners. There's so many new cities that I see every single week, so I've got to go through some. Some of these. You guys have been here, so I'm going to apologize. Campbellsville, kentucky, thank you. North Bergen I think I mentioned you before. It's getting to the point where I don't even know. Bandar Lampung thank you for coming by. I don't even know what the fuck that is. Simsabil I remember thanking you before Kiev.
Speaker 3:I saw that you're back. Thank you for that. Keep fighting those fucking Russians. Coquitlam, I think yeah, we talked to Santiago Rottenberg. I think we already talked about you. Rottenberg, lower Saxony. So thank you for coming by.
Speaker 3:Where are my other ones? I'm trying to find the other ones. I was on the wrong page. Istanbul, thank you, barnett. Wherever that fucking is, thank you for coming by. Winchester, what the fuck is this? I hit the wrong fucking sound button Like a choir a Greek choir just comes on Voroneonez all blast, which I assume, because it's like our other. All blast, which was in russia.
Speaker 3:If you are not a fan of putin, thank you for coming by. If you are a fan of putin, go wherever those guys who couldn't handle arella rose being trans are, because you're a fucking piece of trash. And yeah, I said it. Okay, there we go. Thank you to all of these different cities, but we have one city in particular that we are going to single out for better or worse this week on where the fuck are the viewers from, and that city is Clifton Park, new York. All right, clifton Park, new York, you are the latest victim of where the fuck are the viewers from? Nikki, I've got a question for you, if you can answer me softly. So we've got Clifton Park, new York. Tell us everything you know about it. Is there any cool shit to see or to do there, and I heard you had a story about the time you visited there. What happened, and the viewers just love your exploits. So can you tell us a little bit about this? And I'm very fucking nervous here as to what he's actually gonna say.
Speaker 1:Oh no hi yo, yeah, big shout out. Oh nice, big fucking bear hug. Yeah to all the new listeners tuning in from clifton fucking park, new york. Yeah, there we go. Beautiful brave bastards chose camping them softly. Yeah, your preferred source of fog-fueled chaos and Italian-infused hostility. That's what we bring?
Speaker 3:We bring a lot of Italian-infused hostility. That's one thing we do here, so I will drink to that fucking shit.
Speaker 1:That warms my cold, marinara-soaked heart.
Speaker 3:I thought he was gonna say that warms my colon.
Speaker 1:Microwaved meatball on a winter's day.
Speaker 3:That warms my microwaved meatballs.
Speaker 1:So what's the deal with Clifton Park?
Speaker 3:Yeah, where is Clifton Park? Is Clifton Park anywhere near? Hang on, I have to look it up. Clifton Park, where are you? Where the fuck are you? Clifton Park is in Saratoga County. It's got 38,000 people. It's nowhere near New York City. You know, everybody hears that I'm on the town of Clifton Park's website. The town, it's not a city, it's a town. Welcome to Clifton Park.
Speaker 3:Clifton Park is a suburban town in Saratoga County, according to the United States Census Bureau, the 2020 popular. Jesus Christ, I'm starting to get bored with myself. There is no Sasquatch no Sasquatch hunting in Clifton Park. If you were here last week, you heard all about that. They've got a bunch of golf courses. They've got a bunch of schools. They've got a what government? They have a town board. Report an issue. You can report an issue with something if you want to. You could pay your tickets on their website. There's like nothing like this this website is. They have a lost and found pets section that you could put in that you lost your pet, and they also have a 15 mile trail network. And their quote on their website is Clififton Park a great place to live, work and play. It's kind of I would have thought of something better, but then again it probably wouldn't have gotten anybody to want to come to the city. So anyway, keep going. Nikki Clifton Park what's the deal with them?
Speaker 1:Clifton Park. Yeah, forget about it.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:It's like if a suburb got into a bar fight with a nature trail and they both walked away stronger.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because we talked, it's like a big trail.
Speaker 1:You got parks, mm-hmm. You got pizza joints that dare to call themselves Italian. Eh, we'll see.
Speaker 3:They could be.
Speaker 1:And you got this place called the Clifton Common, which sounds like it's where survivors go to talk things out?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, because that's what they do. They do talking, they don't actually do action.
Speaker 1:I'll be hooking people there by the gazebo next week. Capiche, capiche, want to feel nature on your face like a ghost face, maury? Yeah, no, take a stroll down the Mohawk Towpath Scenic Byway.
Speaker 2:The Scenic Byway.
Speaker 1:It's got history beauty and plenty of bushes to crouch in, while you wait to pounce on your enemies.
Speaker 3:That doesn't sound right, Nikki.
Speaker 1:The time I visited Clifton Park.
Speaker 3:Yes, let's hear your legendary story of Clifton Park, new Jersey.
Speaker 1:Now you want the story huh Strap in Pysong. Okay, so one summer back in 20, never you mind. I go up to Clifton Park to meet a business associate. Of course, about a deal involving some premium controller pasta grips.
Speaker 3:Premium controller pasta grips. Hang on. Okay, so the pasta? Is it controller grips for gripping pasta, or are they pasta made to grip control? I don't know what I'm trying to say here, but I can't tell which is what. Anyway, what about these pasta grips, nikki?
Speaker 1:long story short. I don't want this was bullshit. The grips were cooked al dente. Literally they oh they are made of pasta, then and I ended up in a Best Western lobby screaming at a nine-year-old Claudette, what Maine? Who said she looped me on Leary's Okay, so he screamed at a nine-year-old fucking Claudette Maine.
Speaker 3:Okay, nicky, why are you screaming at nine-year-old fucking children?
Speaker 1:I go to the local pizzeria to cool off, right.
Speaker 3:Yes, after screaming at a child.
Speaker 1:I get handed something that looks like it lost a fight with a hot pocket, I take one bite, I black out. He blacks out from eating a fucking calzone. I wake up inside a mall fountain wearing nothing but my meatball pendant and a towel that said Clifton Park YMCA.
Speaker 3:What the?
Speaker 1:fuck. I look to my left. Earl Grey is standing there, oh Jesus shit. Fucking monocle gleaming in the sunlight like a cursed relic.
Speaker 3:Okay. So Earl Grey drugged a calzone and fed it to Nikki in Clifton Park, new York.
Speaker 1:He says bid underdress for a negotiation. Aren't we Dante?
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Jesus. I said you, son of a crumpet, you set me up.
Speaker 2:He smirks and sips his tea.
Speaker 1:I lunge. We both fall back into the fountain.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Cops show up.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:I tell him, I'm part of a wet theater troupe.
Speaker 3:Oh, jesus Christ, Perform, show up. Yes, I tell him, I'm part of a wet theater troupe performing a modern reimagining of the godfather 2 a wet theater troupe.
Speaker 3:Is this even a thing? A wet theater troupe? I have to look that. I do not fucking believe this shit. A wet theater troupe? Hang on, wet theater. This can't be a thing. A wet theater troupe? Is that real? No's not. It could be a specific company named wet. No, it's not a thing. No, no, okay, I'm just, I'm just reading, I'm Googling. No, it's not a thing. He just he fucking made that up and I proved that he made that up. Okay, but he was trying to get away from the cops. So you make up whatever you want.
Speaker 1:And you know what they believe me.
Speaker 3:Of course they're Clifton Park.
Speaker 1:Tell your viewers that's the kind of danger I face for them. Do you For the integrity of Saban?
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:While Earl's over there ironing his fucking doily collection, I'm out here risking my rep, my limbs and my marinara-drenched dignity. So the fog stays Italian.
Speaker 2:There we go so welcome Clifton Park.
Speaker 1:You're officially under S-A-B-A-M protection. Okay, Now that comes with perks like free Ghostface camping tips, occasional pasta shipments, if you're lucky, and one mandatory annual denial of tea-based supremacy.
Speaker 3:Okay, Salute it you beautiful bastards.
Speaker 1:Nikki out, but not really. I'm everywhere. Yeah, you are. You want more stories like that. Later I got a whole archive of chaos in places like Kozani.
Speaker 2:We heard that one.
Speaker 1:Altamonte Springs. In that time I got cursed by an olive merchant in Bavaria. Did we talk about the city? I'll give you the scandal.
Speaker 3:Did he get cursing? I don't know that. He actually was cursed whenever he talked about Bavaria, but I you know what? I'm somewhat disappointed because I feel like that was a short ass story and I've I feel like we need something longer than that. Hang on, I'm going to put short ass story enter, Uh, hang on, there we go. And oh okay, no, he is not. Uh, okay. So that actually.
Speaker 3:Uh, I think I set him off because he went into deranged lunatic mode and we're going to get something a little bit longer than than the previous one that actually apparently has an epilogue to um, the clifton park incident, cannoli conspiracy, cannoli conspiracy. I have no idea. I do not know what the fuck's going on here. Okay, hang on, let me get it. I'm going to have to get it plugged in here and then style okay, there we go. And then I'm going to have to bring yes, and then we're going to bring okay, and then I think we're done, and then let me hit here and we're going to hear all about the fucking longer version, short- ass story Shit.
Speaker 1:Ayo, toxic what. You want to talk short. Yes, you want to talk short. I once got trapped in Clifton Park for 17 hours with no Wi-Fi. Is this a separate?
Speaker 1:story One battery pasta timer and a fucking iPhone 4 I stole from a Dwight. Okay, you want to hear the real story. Yes, strap the fuck in. I'm strapping the fuck in Because this ain't no fairy tale. This is pure, unfiltered pasta trauma. Oh no, the Clifton Park incident, the cannoli conspiracy? Okay, so I'm driving upstate in my uncle's 97 Buick Linguini. Right, a Buick Linguini Got a trunk full of ghost face masks, three crates of questionable cannolis and one hand written invitation to a respect-based business gathering in Clifton Park.
Speaker 3:I guarantee you, I guarantee you, this respect-based business gathering has something to do with a British person.
Speaker 1:It was supposed to be a meetup with some upstate Saban affiliate known only as the Mozzarella Whisperer.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God. Okay, let's keep going. How much do you want to bet? How much? I'm telling you. I am telling you now.
Speaker 1:Turns out it was a setup. Of course it was. I get this. It's at this place called Schmerz and Gears, a bagel shop. Slash land cafe.
Speaker 3:Schmerz and Gears.
Speaker 1:Already suspicious, right, I walk in and boom. What earl gray's fucking teacup emoji is carved into the wall. Okay, the wallpaper scented like chamomile sabotage. Every gaming rig has defaulted to british keyboard layout british keyboard layout.
Speaker 3:What the fuck is a british keyboard layout?
Speaker 1:I've never heard of that what in the hell is this crap? I sit down uh-huh. Login screen loads. Not steam, not epic, not battlenet. What else is there, brit box?
Speaker 3:okay, this is fucking shit scream loud.
Speaker 1:Staff tells me to calm down. I throw a ravioli at the router okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3:There's more. This is not. We're not even through this story, yet phase two oh. Oh, phase two, the fountain fight fiasco.
Speaker 1:Okay, I storm out, head to the nearby plaza to find this so-called mozzarella whisperer.
Speaker 3:I don't think it's real.
Speaker 1:I end up at a koi pond. You ever tried fighting British survivor manes near koi?
Speaker 3:I don't know what koi would have to do with fighting British survivor manes in real life.
Speaker 1:They dodge hooks and throw scones.
Speaker 3:I swear on Mama Marinara's meatballs Biscuit Barry pops out of the bushes swinging crumpets like Kunai. Oh, biscuit Barry's the second in command to Earl Grey and he's swinging crumpets. I don't know that crumpets are that big, though, and why you would swing them Okay.
Speaker 1:I dodge twist, go for the hook, grab. And who shows up? Earl Fucking gray.
Speaker 3:Of course.
Speaker 1:Waltzing up like it's the Queen's Jubilee. Pinky extended says your culinary reign ends here, Noodle arms.
Speaker 3:Are they going to kill each other or what they play fucking dead by daylight together? Why is all of this shit happening all around the world?
Speaker 1:they are in each other's fucking businesses I lost it of course you charged that monocle wearing bastard and we both fell into the fountain again. Okay, he yells, yeah, get wrecked by refinement. And tallie tosses a waterproof claudette build guide into the pond, like it's evidence. He tosses a waterproof Claudette build guide into the pond. Log the T-trap tribunal security shows up. I claim diplomatic immunity on account of being vice Don of international pasta affairs. They don't buy it. No, they bribe some with scones again. I get banned from the entire Plaza and the local Panera Bread for hostile carbohydrate behavior.
Speaker 3:Okay, what the fuck. But you know what? What I escaped, I'm sure you did With the cannolis, the suspect cannolis.
Speaker 1:And the pride of my people. Of course you did Also. I took a cappuccino machine from the back room, justice. So yeah, next time you call one of my stories short just remember yeah. That's how long it takes to ruin a tea party and ignite a diplomatic culinary incident. Okay, and Clifton Park, you're still under surveillance.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:We got eyes in every pizza box.
Speaker 3:Thank you, nikki, for your grateful, your great story of Clifton Park, new York. I don't know why this is even on a Dead by Daylight podcast, like, why do we even do this? I don't know where it fucking came from. I don't know where it's going. From here, how much, how many more stories can we possibly have? I don't even fucking know. But from here, how much? How many more stories can we possibly have? I don't even fucking know. But that that's what we do here.
Speaker 3:On Camping them Softly, if you guys came for the first time, if you guys came for the first time today, if this was your first ever time, you're not done with that. We got two words for you hey, does this sound work? Thank you for being here. That could be it, right. Hey, does this sound work? That could be it right. There, right, yeah, there we go. That could be our outgoing thing, right? Oh see, shit, it stops right at the good part where he's like I don't know if you know that song, but anyway, anyway, that's it for this week.
Speaker 3:Episode 51 of Camping them Softly. We've got 8.7 coming. We've got Arella Rose at some point and people are going to fucking freak out and threaten to stop playing the game because she's trans. And guess what? Who gives a shit what you think? I'm done with that shit. She'll be okay, we'll be fine, we'll get over it. They got over David and they came back and they kept playing because, guess what? They don't fucking take a stand over anything. They'll be back. Anyway, I'm not going to get on that high horse again. The other thing I had planned for this week will be here next week, so stay tuned for that. We're going to do another survivor deep dive and you'll be excited about this one. I think it's going to be pretty good. So be prepared for that shit. Satan, see us out. Episode 51 is now over. Get the fuck out of my face.
Speaker 2:Episode 50 fucking won. We made it motherfuckers. Only two Dead by Daylight. Podcasts still breathing, but only one that's screaming. Only one that's unhinged. Only one that's camping them softly. Bitch Roll it.
Speaker 2:Once we started, it faded out slow Fire. The brand deals put on a show. We kept screaming, unfiltered and free. I'm the toxic teacher fuck subtlety. I got the thunder mic and hell set on fire. Livia cam watching as I preach to the choir and Nikki's still here throwing pasta in shade the last duo standing in this DVD crusade.
Speaker 2:Candidate Sophie One of two, yeah, said it loud. Candidate Sophie the chaotic king, unbowed, unproud Candidate Sophie Toxic, rude and hard to kill. Candidate Sophie Still screaming after 51, still ill. Checked the charts, did the research right and all I saw was a silent spike, just me and one other limping along. But we brought the choir, the rage, the song. No disclaimers, no fake ass, peace, no welcome Survivors. Now we unleash. I can't tell it's art. Nicky screams like a god and if you think that's cringe, get off my pod. Two podcasts still in the fight, but only one that bites at night. Still got blood on the brand, still holding the mic with one toxic hand. Two podcasts remain, but only one brings the fire. Two podcasts remain, but only one brings the fire. Only one laughs at patch notes, swears mid-sentence and gets banned in four Discord servers a month. That's Camping them Softly. That's the toxic teacher and that's my boy, nicky bitch. We'll be right back. We ain't kind, kevin and Sophie. Two podcasts left, but only one of our kind Whispered Camping them Softly, bitch, bitch.
