Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
🎙️ Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast Where Killers Reign Supreme
💀 Survivors, prepare to be triggered. The Toxic Teacher and the gloriously unhinged Nicky "Noodle Arms" A.I. Dente are here to unleash hell on the Dead by Daylight community. If you're a whiny Survivor main who cries about "balance," this ain't the podcast for you.
🔥 We're serving up a toxic cocktail of:
- Killer main rants that'll make you cackle with glee (or cry if you're a Survivor main, lol)
- AI-generated insanity courtesy of Nicky "Noodle Arms" (who may or may not be plotting world domination)
- Sound effects that'll make your ears bleed (but in a good way... maybe?)
- ADHD-fueled tangents that'll leave you wondering what the hell we're talking about (but hey, that's half the fun!)
🎢 Join us as we descend into the depths of depravity, where slugging, camping, and tunneling are celebrated as high art. We'll also be dissecting strategies, builds, and the latest Dead by Daylight news, all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and dark humor.
So grab your Mori, embrace the salt, and let's make some Survivors rage quit! 😈
🎧 Catch the madness at:
- https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
Camping Them Softly: A Dead by Daylight Podcast
The Ghoul Cometh, The Forums Burneth - Dead by Daylight Ep. 49
The new killer is out, and the community is absolutely hemorrhaging sanity. Dead by Daylight has unleashed Kenneth "The Ghoul" Karnacki, and it’s nothing short of a fog-fueled reckoning. Survivors? Melting. Devs? Ducking. Killers? Standing victorious on 4Ks like it's a fucking Roman coliseum.
This week, The Toxic Teacher returns from a NYC sabbatical (which he describes as “Ghostface energy with rats”) to rip through DBD forums in real-time, highlighting the catastrophic breakdown of the player base. Panic posts. Nerf petitions. Actual kill switch demands. Spoiler: The Ghoul has a 65% kill rate and a 70% pick rate—and that’s just from two days of carnage.
Meanwhile, I, Nicky “Noodle Arms” A.I. Dente, report in from Regensburg, Bavaria, where I nearly get assassinated by a sentient sausage mascot while trying to sell forged meatball permits. I get tackled by Bavarian schoolchildren chanting “NO SPAGHETTI.” I black out in a fountain. I may have triggered a regional haunting. Respectfully.
🍝 This Week’s Verified Nonsense:
• Ghoul forum meltdowns read live: 6
• Killer queue complaints screamed: 3
• Bavarian exorcism events: 1 (confirmed)
• NYC called “killer main central”: 1
• Bratwursts used as melee weapons: 1
• Strongman tournaments challenged: 1
• Nicky called a “predictable Mediterranean man”: also 1 (the fuck??)
🎧 Bonus Segments:
• “Ghostface vs the German Mustard Cartel”
• “Emergency Nerfs and Other Survivor Fairy Tales”
• “Where the Fog Touches Sausage: A Travel Guide”
Plug in, scream into the void, and aim your gaming chair toward Little Italy.
Send Toxic a message! (Question? Comment? Concern? Survivor main and need rehab?)
Check me out everywhere!
https://linktr.ee/thetoxicteacher
So I'm going to vow to you that I'm going to enter the German strongman competition for the second time that's going to be. My vow to you Is that this is the Moss Krug and Sturman. The toxic teacher will compete in the Moss Krug and Sturman. Praise me, praise me. The teacher has set us free, Praise me, praise me. His words are all we see. Oh, here we go. It's me, it's the toxic teacher. This is camping them softly. We're here. It's episode. Oh shit, I've been gone for two weeks. I don't even know. Hang on, Let me. Whoa. I had to cough. I'm so excited and I haven't spoken in this tone in quite some time.
Speaker 1:We're at episode number 49. Shut the fuck up. I can't hear myself think with the crowd, with the massive throngs of fans. I don't know if you ever say throngs of anything else Is that a word that's ever used anywhere? But throngs of fans or throngs of something, people, there's always throngs of people, Anyway. We're not here to talk about throngs of fans or throngs of something, people, there's always throngs of people, anyway. We're not here to talk about throngs. We're here to talk about dead by daylight and other random garbage, whatever garbage we think of on the spot here on camping them softly.
Speaker 1:By the way, guys, you heard me at the beginning. I'm the toxic teacher. You can find me toxic teacher TTV, on Twitch, all those social medias I don't post on enough, and then you could also find me on YouTube, the toxic teacher. So thank you for coming by, episode number 49. Yes, number 49. I had to look again, Okay. So here we go. I'm coming with the old sounds too. So, anyway, guys, I took a week off. Thank you for coming back after this.
Speaker 1:One week I was actually on vacation in New York City, which was I wish I had the old. Do you remember the salsa commercial where he's like New York City? Anyway, so it was quite an experience. New York is so different from here in Dallas, Texas, and some people love it, Some people hate it. Personally, I like it. I like that energy. What I was saying, man, New York is and I posted this on Twitter or X or whatever you want to fucking call it New York is like a killer, made like they do not give a shit and they just do whatever the fuck they want it like.
Speaker 1:They don't. They're not the touchy-feely sensitive. You know this and that. So it's a very killer main city and if you don't like it, you give a shit. They've had, you know they've. They're rough man, they're rough around the edges and I love that. A lot of people don't that, aren't used to it, but it's something I've always enjoyed. It's just kind of like you see all those movies and TV shows and stuff and so I had a fun time, did all the big, uh, big stuff there.
Speaker 1:But enough about that we've got to talk about because this is the first episode since the new killer came out and we all know who that killer is. That's kenneth karnacki that we talked about last time. What was his? Uh, he's the ghoul, I think the ghoul. But first we have to have our theme song right For our, for our, whenever we're talking about Dead by Daylight. Here we go, here we go. Is it coming? Oh, no, it didn't start over. How do I get it to start over? Like I can't. I can't get it to start over. There we go. Yeah, we're here, I love it.
Speaker 2:It's the toxic fucking news. There we go.
Speaker 1:Fucking news. Yeah, toxic, toxic news. We're here. I love it, dude. Like I told you, I am the best at making AI music. Killers in pain. Math updates coming in and they all look the same.
Speaker 2:This one's a little different though.
Speaker 1:Killers saying what the hell? Welcome to dead by daylight and the fog's your cell.
Speaker 2:This one's a little different, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, toxic fucking Ugh. Yeah, I love it, dude, I love it.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:Have I ever listened to this before? Oh, yeah, okay, sorry, I got into it. What the fuck it's got like a new part, it's like a crescendo or something. Is that? What is that the right use of that word? Yeah, okay, anyway, I got to stop. I got to stop. We, we're gonna go way over on time.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, this ken kanecki guy, ghoul, gal, whatever you want to call, because you can be the gal, right, you can, you can get the other the skin, what is it? Reese, he's a he day, something or other. But but anyway, guys, the reason we're talking about the ghoul is there is a backlash against this ghoul that I don't know if I've ever seen it in a killer before, in a new killer before, because the general consensus is this killer is so overpowered that it's making the game almost unplayable and they're saying this is the best killer since. Fucking, nurse, Like this is unstoppable, un-fucking, like you can't even. You just give up. If you, if you find this killer in a match, right, and this is what you know, this is what survivor mains tend to do, right, right, and this is what you know. This is what survivor mains tend to do. Right Is they can't take it and they'll say the weakest killer. When the weakest killer first comes out, they'll say it's overpowered, right. Like, if you look at like, I don't even know if Trickster was overpowered.
Speaker 1:A lot of people said Trickster was overpowered whenever he came out. I don't, I don't remember that being the case, but people figured out how to play against the killer and then that was it right. That was kind of the end of that. And then Trickster got a nerf because people complained too much. And that leads to the point that's probably what they're going to do here is that the ghoul will be nerfed just because of the outcry is so loud. It's not in. I know we're jumping points here pretty quickly, but it's.
Speaker 1:It's kind of leading to this, and what I feel it is is that we've got a dead by daylight is a very reactionary game, or the developers are very reactionary, rather, because they look at what the outcry is of the survivors in the most recent moment and then they will release patches and updates and fucking whatever in reaction to the survivor vibe at the time, and that doesn't make for a good game.
Speaker 1:That's not the way it's supposed to be, that's not the way it's supposed to work at all. Right, and that just makes it worse for the killer players, because the killer players just take whatever we're fucking given and we have to like it or just not play the game, and so that's the sitch that is the kids would say, that's the sitch, that's the 411 right now is that they are complaining so hard. If you go on any of the social media websites, if you go to any of the forums, that is the predominant post, know, post after post after post after is killer is so fucking like I can't take it and it's just fucking awful, and it's just fucking fucking, fucking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that that's what you've got. That that's what you've got. It's it's unplayable. The forms are ungoable, doable or whatever you want to call it. Unvisitable, I think might be the word, and I'm just getting on there right now. I have not been on the BHVR forums lately, but I can guarantee you, first page, that's what I'm going to see. We just go to general discussion. Where are they your experience with the new killer so far, so far? Where are they your experience with the new killer so far? So far? He is downright slaughtering me and my teammates and people have already started to give up once they get hooked. So see, there you go. The game needs an emergency hotfix patch. Kill, switch the ghoul, see. Okay. Next post. The next post after that okay. So the game needs an emergency hotfix patch. Next post this new killer is an atrocity. Next post I can't believe nine years into this, the devs are still releasing killers in this state.
Speaker 1:Oh, and then there was one, the nemesis buff. Somebody was there like actually trying to have a conversation. But the next post after that, can we just nerf the ghoul already, and then what's the next one? Is something a miss? And then they put nevermind, disregard post, I guess because it wasn't about the ghoul. So that's what we've got right here. Somebody put this and this is garbage here. This is the kind of stuff this has to be a survivor Well, it's probably gotta be a survivor man, but this is the dead by daylight community Is. Somebody says who is the genius behind the ghouls power design? I hope your family suffers. I really do. This is why what? But why do we really need to nerf the ghoul? Somebody said do we really need to? You know they just got fucking destroyed and actually that post has 103 comments, so you know they're getting destroyed.
Speaker 1:Next, one proxy camping ghoul uh, highlights how poor the auto unhook system is. Um ghoul, blah, blah, blah. Let me see. Yeah, so it's over and over and over and over.
Speaker 1:This is going to have to change. Number one every game I've played, I've had to play survivor, because you can't get into a fucking killer match right now. Number two if you do play a survivor match, you're playing against a ghoul, which, rightly, he is kind of slaughtering everyone. I mean, it's just we haven't figured out how to play against him as a community yet, or survivors have not figured out how to play against him, which is part of the problem here and if there is no way to play against him, yes, he may need changes, but they're crying out for these enormous big nerfs that are going to totally, you know, throw them into oblivion, like they did the Skull Merchant or the Trickster, and that's where the problem is going to be. We're going to have another D2 killer. Nobody plays, they're going to go back to all the same killers, unless, with the exception. With the one exception here is that if it turns out, his power is so good that he's essentially a nurse level where, no matter what you do, that particular killer's mobility and that particular killer's power renders it kind of immune to changes in. Okay, let's change this, you know, move this number up, move this number down. It's just the nature of the killer themselves is so strong it kind of throws everything off, which I believe we've talked about that before. Like Blight and Nurse have this problem right that their, their power makes them different enough that the regular ways that they birth enough, I almost said birth enough. What in the hell is this crap? Yeah, nothing, birth or no fucking nerf and buff. They have to figure out a different way to work with these killers to get them where they want them to be, and I don't think they actually do that or know exactly how to do that and what I'm doing right now.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to get on the stats here to see what we're looking at, to see what we're looking at as far as killers go. So we're looking at since. Can I change? I want to change my dates here. Custom date range. Let's change the custom date range.
Speaker 1:When did this guy come out? He came out in fucking April 2nd, right? So it's April 2nd to April 5th. April 2nd to April 5th. Yes, he came out April 2nd, right, I believe. I believe. Okay, so I'm looking for three days worth of data on Nightlight GG. You know that's not a lot of data. We've got 3,000 matches worth of data in the past. You know few days. What is this? Four days, we've got 3 000 matches worth uh. 2 000 matches worth uh.
Speaker 1:The ghoul has been picked 70 of the time that the seven. Oh, I've played one non-ghoul match since I've been on DVD. Currently his kill rate is sitting at 65%, which is, according to this, in the past four days, his kill rate is the highest of any killer that's been actually uploaded in the past. Oh, that's two days. Why are we on two days? Do we only have the fourth? I don't have to the sixth? Hang on, no, what, no, hang on, let's do the fifth to the fucking yeah, no, okay, what do I pick here? Do I pick the last day and then the first day? Okay, anyway, okay, okay Beside the point, anyway, okay, beside the point. Beside the point is that he does have the highest kill rate of any of the killers uploaded. He does have the highest percentage of 4Ks. So there is a chance. Okay, this guy is overpowered. We're going to have to change him.
Speaker 1:The question is what do they do now? Do they do an emergency hotfix? Probably not. Is this going to lead to a loss in players? Who knows hotfix? Probably not. Is this going to lead to a loss in players? Who knows?
Speaker 1:The thing is is that everybody said this was going to be the best update ever. They were so fucking excited about this. And now look at the community. It's worse off than ever because they can't take it whenever killers actually have one that's pretty good one, one that can get the job done, one that can actually, you know, kind of dominate the games in what would be a killer fashion right, and so they're going to have to put the game back in stasis, back in its normal mode where killer players are miserable survivors get whatever they want, and then things will be back to the normal that Dead by Daylight has had for the past nine fucking years, or else they'll lose players. I mean, you know queue rates will go up. You know, whenever killer players are unhappy enough, you know the queue rates go through the roof and then they'll throw us a bone. But they're going to have to throw survivors a bone. You can bet your bippy on that is that we're going to see in the next patch. We're going to see some massive changes and then this killer will become less played, the kill rates are going to go down and then, you know, things will be back where they were. So that's that. That's the biggest news that we've got in DBD right now.
Speaker 1:By the way, in the last episode I talked about that douchebag online that talked bad about my podcast, said all kind of wild shit about women, about you know whatever minority groups and all of that. That guy is now gone because apparently he was messaging children or something like. I don't even know the whole story and I'll probably get sued for something. But that's where that is. So that guy got what he fucking deserved. And do I have a Satan? Are you happy about that? So that's kind of where we leave that topic off.
Speaker 1:So, other than that, other than that, there's not a lot of news in DVD right now. They're still talking about the Five Nights at Freddy's, which is going to be awful. They can't make that killer that good because everybody's going to want that. Everybody anywhere from 2 to 12 years old is going to buy this killer, and they're not going to be able to make it as good as they made the ghoul. You notice this is kind of the new bar now is you cannot make a killer this good or else people will fucking lose their shit and things will. You know, things will get out of hand really quick. So that's that.
Speaker 1:Now, because it's such a light news week, we have to now go into our last segment of the day. We've only been at it a few minutes, but we're already going to the last segment. This is going to be a short episode, which you guys always know what the last segment is, and I apologize for the short episode. I know some people have said I don't like the short episodes. You need to go back to the fucking long ones. Well, you know we will when there's plenty to talk about. This week not as much, and I apologize, but anyway, without further ado.
Speaker 1:Where the fuck got a viewer from? There it is. I never get tired of this song. The Talks Father is going to give us a little list here Dallas, texas, yep, yep. I should make multiple versions of this song, shouldn't I and the Skogi? Oh, yeah, you know what I can do while I'm doing this. I'm getting everything pulled up here. I'm working. While he's getting us on here. I don't know who's got the guts, brother. I don't know where they're from, not, yet I haven't looked, I haven't even looked. Ugh, hang on, I'm still looking. God fucking damn it. Ontario, phoenix, arizona. That's Mesa. That's Mesa with Froggy in it. Okay, shut the fuck up. Talkfather, I'm trying to think here. Okay.
Speaker 1:So I want to thank a couple of new places that have come by recently Aachen, I think you've been here before. Aachen in North Rhine-Westphalia. Thank you for coming by. I'm going to find North Bergen, new Jersey. I don't know if you've been here, but thank you if you're new.
Speaker 1:We've been doing this so long I can't remember who I've mentioned and who I haven't. Frankfurt, you're here. You've been here for years and years, and years. We've been at this over a year. So can I say years? Is it plural? At this point I don't even know if it's plural, but if it is plural, sure, sure, sure, sure. Thank you for coming. Sure, sure, sure. And also, tel Aviv no, tel Aviv, you've been here. Federal Way we already talked about you. Melbourne, thank you. Dewsbury, thank you, let me see here. I'm just scrolling down the list here and I think Essen I don't know where Essen is. New Rochelle, el Dorado, kansas I don't know where El Dorado, kansas is. I can learn about all of these places and eventually we will. I think eventually Will we go through all of these, or will I die first? I don't know, but that's part of the fun. Right Next week, on Gaming them Softly, we figure out whether Tux is going to die before he talks about Moose Jaw. Saskatchewan Okay, so we've got one city here that I want to talk about and I'm going to have our friend talk about it.
Speaker 1:You know who I'm talking about. Hey, nikki, no-transcript. I heard you had visited there and know a bit about it. What are some cool things to do in the city, and do you have any wild stories from there? I heard you had quite a story about the time you visited here. Okay, let me. I don't know what's going to happen. We're about to find out, though. Oh gee, style unhinged, lunatic mode. Do you remember? He now has three modes and he's in unhinged, fucking lunatic mode. Those two don't go together. Okay, jesus shit, he's typing a novel, I think, because, oh no, he's getting there, it's getting there. So, anyway, we're going to talk about I'll just go ahead and let you know.
Speaker 1:We're going to talk about a place that I don't know how to pronounce, called Regenstauf, bavaria, regenstauf, bavaria. I don't even know where you are. I need to look you up. It's Germany, I would assume, right? Regenstauf, regenstauf, is that Regenstauf? You're a municipality in Germany. There is nothing, there is absolutely nothing on this town online. It's internationally active. What is this? Was founded, okay, the Wimex Group, an internationally active German concern, which is a type of business group in Europe in the meat and agricultural industry, as its headquarters at Rigenstaff. I have no idea.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, nikki, come on, man, this is awful. This is going to be terrible. I don't even know what he said. So I'm going to say redo that and curse a lot more and don't censor it and don't use emojis. Okay, there we go. He's going to have to rewrite. He accidentally fucked up, so that's it. Also, let me talk real quick.
Speaker 1:While he's doing his thing Dead by Daylight I've got a problem because it's becoming very stale, since there's nothing to it other than there's no progression other than prestiging up your characters, and I think they've really got to do something about this to keep people playing, because I don't know how much longer that would be able to keep me. Oh, he actually changed modes. Now he's in wise guy mode. It's a classic wise guy instead of unhinged lunatic. Okay, and the story just got a lot fucking longer, and I'm not thrilled about this. Okay, he's talking about a group of Bavarian children. Okay, and he ended with fuck that place.
Speaker 1:So we're about to find out about Reagan's staff. Staff or staff. Is it staff or stuff? Whenever it's German, I need a German speaker, but I have no German speakers in this household. Maybe I should get some German speakers to come to the house while we're doing this shit. Hang on, thank you, crowd for laughing at that. Yes, my background crowd here. Now. Okay, is this it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crowd for laughing at that. Yes, my background crowd here. Now, okay, is this it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go, we're almost there, we're almost there. Okay, nikki, go, this is it. We're generating, generating, here we go, here we go, it's.
Speaker 2:Regenstaff, let's do it. Yo, let me tell you something about fucking Regenstaff, bavaria. That sleepy little town, looking like it fell out of a God damn cuckoo clock yeah.
Speaker 1:I've been there.
Speaker 2:Beautiful hills, nice trees, everybody speaking all soft Like they ain't never seen a real fucking man In a track suit. But Don't let the fucking postcard vibes fool ya.
Speaker 1:That town.
Speaker 2:That town's a fucking war zone for anyone flying the italian flag in their fucking soul okay, apparently they're very anti-italian and reagan style.
Speaker 1:Hey, by the way, if you're in the dallas area, there's a really good place to go called um. Oh shit, what is that place now? See, I fucking lost it. It's called uh, it's a fucking restaurant where it's like a German restaurant but it's not like a Nazi restaurant. It's like one of those restaurants where they're wearing lederhosen not like the Nazi uniforms, but like lederhosen and they have the big beer steins.
Speaker 1:And I was actually in a strongman contest, if you could believe it in fucking in this place, leave it in. Fucking uh in this place. What is the name of the place? The name of the place is fucking um, bavarian grill, bavarian grill, that's the name of the place. So the competition was you had to hold a beer stein up like full of beer. You had to hold it in front of you like arm's length, hold your arm all the way out with a thing full of beer and then, if you won, your arm all the way out with a thing full of beer. And then, if you won, you would get to go to like the regional German strongman competition and then, if you won there, you got to go to the nationals and then, if you won there you would go to Berlin for, like the world, apparently, there's a world fucking championship of this strongman bullshit. And uh, with the the, with the beer stein, and there's hang on beer stein, strongman competition. Germany, uh, davarian grill, I think they still do it. Mug and crucian stemming it's called the mug and crucian stemming or something like that.
Speaker 1:Muskruganstemmen. Every Friday and Saturday, 9 pm, grand Final. On Saturday, september 7th, our North Texas champion will win a trip to the US Finals in New York City with a winning time over seven minutes. I actually made it to four minutes. I should get back in this thing and do it again. Would that be badass if I could do that? But I came in second fucking place and I even beat some fucking bodybuilders that couldn't do it. I don't know why, if it's the gaming, if it's a dead by daylight or what, but I came in second place in the Masa Kruger Stoneman at the Bavarian Grill in fucking Garland. Was it in Garlandland? Was it in garland? It was in richardson texas and yeah, that's that. So every friday and saturday at 9 pm until september 6th, with a grand for I'm actually gonna do that. I gotta put it on my toxic calendar to get in this fucking the moss krug is a one liter hoffbrau glass stein is filled with one liter of hoffbrau beer to the mark.
Speaker 1:The combined weight of glass stein is filled with one liter of half raw beer to the mark. The combined weight of the stein and beer is 5.4 pounds. Is to be held with one arm, left or right, stretched out in front of the body. In front of the body, not sideways, parallel to the floor. Your thumb cannot be on top of the handle. Opposite arm must be straight down. Like you can't, uh, balance yourself, you have to have your other arm down at your side and then no beer can fall from it. So if you start to like if your, if your arm gets tired, it can't dip or anything and you can't switch hands or anything like that.
Speaker 1:So I made it four minutes and it says you cannot wear a back brace during the competition. So that's that. Anyway, that is totally beside the point with the Moshen Krug and Sturffen and I don't even know how we got on there, but that's that. Oh, because that's what this place looks like, one of those like sound of music type places like the hills and shit like that. Anyway. So Nikki says it's dangerous for Italians, or people with Italian souls, to be in Regenstaff. This could become very anti-German very quick, and I didn't think about that whenever I asked him. Okay, let's keep going, for better or worse.
Speaker 2:So I show up in Regenstaff, right, yes, trying to get a little R&R after my fifth goddamn ban on Twitch for excessive Italian nationalism, whatever the fuck that means. I figure I'll do a little recon, see if the legends are true about the Bavarian underground pasta ring.
Speaker 1:Turns out they are.
Speaker 2:But let me finish the fucking story. I'm working on it. First night I'm setting up a pop-up meatball stand right outside of Bratwurst Joint Legit business. I even had permits from the Federation of Saucy Merchants. Oh Jesus.
Speaker 1:What? Okay, so he's forging documents to sell meatballs in front of a place that sells bratwurst. Okay, this is going to be bad we already know where the story's going right.
Speaker 2:No, she started again. Hang on. No. Oh shit, I fucked up. Tell you something he started again. Hey, no, first night I'm setting up a pop-up meatball stand gives a fuck. Suddenly I'm surrounded by six fucking locals, oh no steins of beer and murder in their eyes of course one of them yells no pasta on bavarian soil.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm like, excuse me, you fucking cabbage eating clowns. This is marinara ground zero. Show, show some fucking respect. How is it marinara ground zero? You want to know what to do in Regenstaff? Sure, was that your whole story? Here's what the pamphlet says Go hike the fucking woods.
Speaker 1:Okay, great, I'm not hiking in the woods, go, get lost and eaten by a racist deer.
Speaker 2:I don't give a shit A racist deer. Visit the Walhalla Memorial Cool. Valhalla Memorial Cool A big fucking marble shrine to a bunch of people who didn't know how to make risotto Snooze Fest.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Drink at the local breweries. Yeah, if you like piss in a mug and getting glared at for ordering Chianti.
Speaker 1:Oh, Jesus Christ. But the story.
Speaker 2:You're sneaky. Oh the story. Yes, you want to hear the truth. Yes, I do, I'm on this scenic stream, a ghost face in Bavaria, expose. Next thing I know my connection drops. My phone screen goes black, boom, then flashes the phrase the pasta dies tonight. Swear on Mama Marinara's grave what I hear footsteps, slow, synchronized, like some Nazi pasta hybrid dance group.
Speaker 1:I spin around.
Speaker 2:It's a fucking sausage mascot human sized foam head, dead eyes. He swings a fucking bratwurst at me. What the fuck?
Speaker 1:A giant human sausage mascot with a foam head and dead eyes swings a bratwurst at him. Okay.
Speaker 2:First night surrounded by six fucking locals. No, I accidentally With steins of beer. What happened? And murder in their eyes. No, what.
Speaker 1:I hear footsteps.
Speaker 2:Sighs, he swings a fucking bratwurst at me. There it is. I duck, throw a meatball. Classic S-A-B-A-M counterattack. Throwing a meatball. It splats off his chest and he says worst is law, hear the fucking audacity.
Speaker 1:Okay, I run right, yeah Is law. Hear the fucking audacity.
Speaker 2:I run right, Get tackled by a group of Bavarian children on a school field trip. They start chanting no spaghetti, no spaghetti, like it's a goddamn exorcism. I wake up in a fountain with a tourist taking pictures, thinking I'm some kind of fucking folk art. You think I made that shit up? Fuck no. Regenstaff is fucking haunted by sausage spirits and anti-Italian hate crimes. You go there, bring garlic a sharp fork and don't wear anything red, white or green, unless you got a death wish. Anyway, fuck that place.
Speaker 1:Next question Okay, there we go.
Speaker 1:That. Reagan stop, germany. Apparently, whenever there's not a lot about the place, the stories are not quite as long, but that was that was nikki dente on reagan stealth, germany. I wonder if they play the ghoul there, hang on. What if I ask him that? What if I ask him like, what? What uh is? Is Regan Stealth? Hang on? I'm asking him now is Regan Stealth survivor or killer sided? Who do they like to play? Did you play against any famous?
Speaker 1:This is where it's gonna to get bad famous Bavarian TBD players there. Question mark this is going to get disgusting. Classy Don mode, calm Nikki. Okay, it's a killer-sided town. Okay, hang on, we're getting there. Oh, okay, now he's just making shit up at this point. So, anyway, let me go back. So I'm going to vow to you that I'm going to enter the German strongman competition for the second time. That's going to be my vow to you. You've got to give him that hot poop. Is that? This is the Moss Krugan Sturman? The toxic teacher will compete in the Moss Krugan Sturman and I will post that shit on Twitch YouTube. All that garbage and let. Okay. So there we go Now, let me geez.
Speaker 1:Why is this so fucking long. This is longer than the story he just told. Okay, but hey, that's content, right. Okay, here we go. Nikki, tell me about Bavarian DVD players. Too many concurrent requests. I have a concurrent request, apparently yes, play Play it. Requests there, I have a concurrent request, apparently yes, play, play it. Play, the goddamn shit. It's not playing. Okay, here we go, maybe I can get it to play now. Here we go, click, play and then it's supposed to play.
Speaker 2:This is the problem with doing this shit live you see, kid okay reagan stoff yeah, that's a killer sided town nostaff yeah, that's a killer-sided town. Oh, it is no doubt about it. Okay, the fog's a little thicker there.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:The trees lean just a bit more suspicious-like.
Speaker 1:Do they and?
Speaker 2:the air's got that I'm-about-to-tunnel-somebody-out-of-existence kind of feel. That's my kind of place Real old where hooking a survivor ain't just gameplay, it's ceremony. This sounds great. The locals, yeah. Oh, there's something else you ever hear of Hans the Hill Hooker Hinterberg.
Speaker 1:The Hill Hooker, legend in.
Speaker 2:Bavarian circles Plays trapper like he's laying out a goddamn minefield in the Black Forest. They say he once trapped an Ananiol and a 99-year-old.
Speaker 1:Ayershachie.
Speaker 2:Mickey, no, and my US Seth why I'm in the same basement.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's Swift.
Speaker 2:Some say it was a glitch. I say it's bloodline skill Might be S-A-B-A-M adjacent.
Speaker 1:Oh, I ain't saying nothing.
Speaker 2:But the man uses brutal strength like he's clearing schnitzel carts from the fog.
Speaker 1:Oh, Now as for who they prefer to play.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bavarian bastards love their legion Really. Nothing says passive-aggressive Eurogaming like spreading a little deep wound and vanishing into the mist with a smirk Eurogaming. I played against a whole team of them once, all Bavarian, all running cold wind, all named after sausages. One of them was literally called Bratwurst Barry Fucker flashlight clicked in Morse code. Oh Jesus, they hate ghost face. You can feel it what? Every time I stalked one of them through the wheat it was like I was insulting the memory of Beethoven himself. I even got death threats in cursive. German Said I was disturbing the balance of fog and fermented wheat. So yeah, regenstahl, what. They respect killers, but they only like killers who play by their rules.
Speaker 1:Okay, regenstahl, what?
Speaker 2:They respect killers, but they only like killers who play by their rules. Okay, the minute I pulled out Insidious Ghostface and started a proper basement meeting they called me barbaric, barbaric.
Speaker 2:Uh-oh, buddy, what I invented. The Respectful Maury. There's a respectful version. These people just mad. I brought marinara to their mustard party. Mustard, it's a mustard party. Oh, and don't get me started on the famous ones. I squared off once against Gretchen Loops 420, the top Bavarian, meg Mane, full map, looped me in area of crows while listening to Kraftwerk on her headset. Cold, calculated, disrespectful.
Speaker 1:I haven't listened to Kraftwerk a long time. Oh no.
Speaker 2:She called me a predictable Mediterranean man. I still wake up sweating Because you got. But I'll say this Bavarian players, they're clean.
Speaker 1:They are no cheating.
Speaker 2:No macros, no fake lag switches, Just raw bratwurst powered hate. I respect that, Even if they're wrong about pasta. Y'all pour me a double espresso, straighten my tracksuit and turn my gaming chair back toward Little Italy. I feel the fog calling. I feel it too, Nicky. Hey you want that canto so.
Speaker 1:Okay, there it is. That was Nicky. Nicky, thank you for coming by. Okay, there it is. That was Nikki. Nikki, thank you for coming by and telling us all about Reagan stuff. So we actually got something good out of this episode. We figured out.
Speaker 1:I am going to enter a German slot. Hey, pop, attention. Can you believe the shit that this is going to? I have to win it for my legions of toxic fans and I'll have to report back to you. Is this still happening? Is this thing going on right now or did I just make this up? Is Mos Krugan Starman happening? Okay, I'm on Instagram. The Bavarian Grill restaurant here it is here. It is Shut the fuck up. It's on the Bavarian Grill restaurant here it is here. It is Shut the fuck up. It's on the Bavarian Grill Restaurant's Instagram. I can't read this shit. I have to zoom in. It's on, hang on. Okay, do you have what it takes to be a Moss Krug, krug and Sturman for just $25? Your entry includes a beer filled sign, a shot at a Hofbrau t-shirt and the chance to compete for an all-expenses-paid trip to New York at the Stupid Parade.
Speaker 1:What? Whether you're competing for glory, prizes or fun, join us this weekend. Are you serious? When was this? This was a week ago. Was that the only day? Did I seriously already miss this shit? I have to post. Did I miss this or will it last more than one week? Question mark I must win this thing. I must win this thing for my throngs of fans. See how we're calling it back. Okay, there we go. I posted. I don't know what they're going to say, but I'm very excited about this. Why is my thing not playing? There we go, I wonder. Oh my God, if it's already happened, then I'm sorry. I'll have to find some other strongman competition to get on.
Speaker 1:Okay, anyway, I think that's it for this week. Oh, no, no, no, no. There's one more thing. Actually, I overheard at the gym two teenagers talking because I was doing work in the little cafe that's attached to our overly expensive gym, and they used a word I had never heard before expensive gym. And they used a word I had never heard before. Actually, do I want to save that for next week? I think I do. They used a word I never heard before and I went into a murderous rampage that I, that I, their start. Kids are using words that are totally fucking ridiculous and I'm going to save that actually for next week because I am running short on time. Save that actually for next week because I am running short on time and I want to save, like a cool topic, just in case next week is more of the same 10 Kaneki bashing bullshit. So that is it, I think, for this week.
Speaker 1:Guys, next week we're going to be on episode number 50 and I'm going to have to plan something big for episode 50. I don't know what I'm going to plan, but it's going to have to be a little bit bigger than what we're thinking about and I don't know what that's going to be, but if you have any ideas, let me know. You know, twitch, all that shit. Follow me, subscribe, like, especially if you're on Spotify. Apple, give me some ratings, give me some five stars. Let me know how you feel about the podcast. If you want to be on, email me thetoxicteacher at gmailcom and I believe I will probably see you. Oh, yes, see you next week. I don't know what song is going to play me out, because I haven't put it on here yet, but you'll hear it here in just a second. Satan, tell everybody to get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. See you next week.
Speaker 2:That's it for episode 40-fucking-9. The coolest bus did, the beer is warm and Nikki's banned. Again Again, meatballs flew and bratwurst slammed. I held a stein till I broke my hand, forums burned, survivors cried and Ghostface looped my soul inside.
Speaker 1:Ghoul rules everything. Campers scream.
Speaker 2:Face camp dreams in a beach day scene. Episode's over. We're cooked and done, but I'll be back next week with more dumb fun Until next time don't drop the spaghetti Until next time.
Speaker 1:Don't drop the spaghetti. Grungo rules Everything.
Speaker 2:Campers scream Face camp dreams In a beach day scene. Episode's over. We're cooked and done, but I'll be back next week with more dumb fun.
Speaker 1:Until next time, don't drop the spaghetti. Thank you.
